In The Way of Explanation

Wow... did I really just go a whole month without blogging once?

Wild.

Of course, it's been a wild month.

In the way of explanation, I'll be brief:  my mom's cancer has returned, this time in the liver.  The past seven weeks have been a blur of doctors and driving, labs and listening, chemo and coping, numbers and numbness, coordinating and communicating, help and hurt.

And it's also been a month of saying "no" ... a lot.  No to lunch invitations.  No to inquiries about speaking engagements.  No to potential consulting.  No to book marketing.

Because saying "no" to these things means I can say "yes" to my mom and my family right now... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

That's part of the ability to seize the accomplishment. It's called prioritizing. And prioritizing isn't about just putting things in order and trying to do them all. Prioritizing is about stamping various items with a "no" (or at least a polite "not yet"). Prioritizing is telling various things/opportunities/people that they are just not as important as other things/opportunities/people. Priorities are driven by values. They're driven by experience. They're driven by identity. They're driven by relationships. They're driven by insight.

The only outstanding question about YOUR priorities is whether they're being driven by YOU.  You see, there are a lot of people out there who think they know what YOUR priorities should be better than YOU do.  That's when you have to be tough and remember how to say "no."  There are a lot of ways to say it; just find a way that works for you.

It's a new year, and I hope and pray 2011 is a happy and healthy year for all of you... and that it's well prioritized.  It is, after all, something you control.

Comments

[Mike Wagner]

Good to hear from you. Thanks for sharing the hard won wisdom of the past few weeks.

There is amazing power in "no"...or even the polite Midwestern "not yet".

Keep creating...a power-filled 2011

[Heather Bacino]

Tim...first I am sorry about your mother, I have been there twice my mother's cancer is in remission number2. I Love the blog it really speaks to where I feelmlike I am at right now. 2011 is a time for "change" to set straight priorities and know that I control the how and where I spend my time!

I will put you and your mom on my prayer list.

Happy New Year!

[Ms. Admin]

As always Tim, you're absolutely correct. When all was said and done your dad, my dad nor my husband laid on their death beds and said, "Damn, I wish I'd worked one more day." Instead, they and we, were thankful for the time they did spend with us. Saying, "NO" is liberating, learning to accept help from others comes from having a gracious heart.

[Phil]

Thanks for the reminder on the importance of "no" and the impotance of setting your own priorities. It is so simple, yet we often make things too complicated.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.