Avoiding the DISS-ciple

Did you know that if you flip the syllables on the word mentor, with a slight adjustment you get the word torment?

Two decades into the professional world, I've had the opportunity to have a mentor as well as be a mentor.  The best mentor relationships are those that have grown naturally out of respect and trust, where both parties were open to listening and taking action.

But there have been some disastrous mentor-protege relationships as well.  The ones which have been assigned as an "orientation buddy" rarely work.  Those mentor relationships that are forged out of "damage control" also often end badly.  When I was learning the "tricks of the trade" in team facilitation, I was assigned to a mentor to develop these skills.  "Mary" thought the sun rose and set in herself, and she was also very insecure (yeah, the irony of her being a facilitation mentor isn't lost on me either).  If I didn't hang on her every word, if I dared to take one of her ideas and expand it to try something new, if I didn't fluff her ego enough, Mary ran straight to my boss and complained that I was "difficult to work with."  You can guess where that relationship went.

The trick is to determine whether you want to build a protege or a disciple.  (Now before you wig out on the term, it does not have to have religious overtones of Jim Jones' Koolaid stand.)  As a matter of fact, Paul Hoffman writes a brilliant post on the topic in the Top Management Tips blog.  The four stages of discipleship really define what a successful mentor-protege relationship look like:

The first stage is initiation, the protégé recognizes and appreciates the talents, and expertise the mentor brings to the relationship. Second, the protégé and mentor begin a process of interpersonal bonding. In this deepening relationship, they begin sharing vision, values, and connecting personal goals and organizational goals. At some point the third stage occurs, separation. The protégé or the discipling mentor experiences a drifting apart. One or the other receives a promotion, become physically separated, or the protégé is more independent. The final, fourth stage is redefinition. Some event in the organizational life of the protégé brings her/him back to the former mentor. They re-establish their relationship on different terms, not as mentor and protégé.

Ask yourself these questions about your current mentor-protege relationships:

1. Was it assigned or cultivated?
2. Did it develop out of necessity or nature?
3. Do the mentor and protege genuinely see something in each other worth investing in the relationship?
4. Are both gaining value out of the relationship?
5. Is it interdependent rather than codependent?
6. Is there a goal in mind for the relationship?  (examples: indoctrination into a culture, behavior change, skill development)
7. Is there so much riding on the relationship that it becomes too important to fail?

You can surmise the "right" and "wrong" answers from the above questions.  If there's more TORMENTING than MENTORING going on, it leads to one more question:  what are YOU going to do about it?

Mind Your Iowabiz

It would appear I spoke too soon.  Iowabiz is again alive and well, thanks to new sponsorship by The Business Record.

My "first" post appeared over the weekend, sharing some ideas about publicizing your project recovery.

Happy reading!

Welcome back, Iowabiz.com!

Your Slipknot Is Showing

Des Moines' resident heavy-metal rock band, Slipknot, is having an interesting summer.  Their health insurer is probably not amused.  Their own #0 (AKA DJ Sid Wilson) broke both of his ankles during a leap at a summer concert in Seattle.  So now he's making his stage appearances in a wheelchair.  OK, so they are redefining exactly what "heavy metal" means.  As one article put it, "But that's just the kind of band Slipknot are. Dedicated and intense, they simply don't quit — no matter what their bruises look like. "

So, how about you?  Your career is a concert tour of sorts.  And you've probably taken a few bad jumps and wound up bruised and broken.  The question is whether you're willing to take the stage at the next event and show off your battle scars... or just cower in your dressing room and hope the fans go away so they don't see you in your current state.

I know a lot of consultants, project managers, and business analysts who are currently "between projects" (the politically correct way of saying they are unemployed).  Some of them are licking their wounds.  Others are going at it fast and furious, viewing the employment set-back as an opportunity for new adventures.

Some questions to ask yourself as you are waiting for the next "paying gig":

• What can I learn from my last experience?  What didn't I do well?
• What are the strengths I bring to an employer?  Do I know, and can I talk about them confidently?
• What types of assignments should I avoid?  With whom do I work the best?
• What can I work on right here, right now while I'm in waiting mode?  Both personally and professionally, what can I do to make myself the best person possible?

Now get out there, put on that spiked mask, and rock on!

Single Parenting vs. Multi-Tasking

You may wonder why I've been so blogospherically quiet the past week.  Well, to be honest, it has to do with family.  In the past week, we've traveled home from the in-laws just in time to get my wife off to a workshop in New England.  This is her second job-related excursion this summer, and I've teased her about "getting me back" for all of my travels and adventures this past year.

Her travels, though, have left me with a pretty cool opportunity:  having the girls to myself for a few days.  While all has gone smoothly thus far, I must admit that I have tremendous respect for those who find themselves in a single-parenting situation.  It's a daunting task for one person, even when the kids are well-behaved and fun and engaging.  We've had a lot of fun.  We've gone to the pool (let's hear it for season passes), we've taken walks in the woods, we've cooked out and had picnics.  I've also negotiated arguments, kissed boo-boos, and introduced my children to "real" media.  For example, when I saw what constituted a "cartoon" in today's television line-up, I made sure my girls watched an array of old Warner Brothers' cartoons (now my three-year-old goes around asking everybody, "What's up, Doc?").  Tired of hearing about the latest High School Musical movie buzz, I made them watch "Singin' in the Rain."

Most of all, I've learned that priorities get shifted pretty quickly with kids.  My "laptop time" has had to take a backseat to more important things.  Phone calls and text messaging get dealt with around naps and meals.  Blogging and Twittering and LinkedIn-ing all have to get parked.  There are two girls who need their dad.

Now, how quickly can you shift your priorities on your job when "really important stuff" comes up?  Is your schedule so packed that nothing new could fit into it?  What if a personal crisis came up which required you to watch your children or attend to an aging parent?  Could you do it?  What about the hot new project that will catapult your career?  Have you developed other people who could replace you quickly?

We tend to equate busy-ness with effectiveness.  The Wall Street Journal recently ran a story about executives' schedules being so booked that they couldn't schedule any new meetings for months.  One of the most effective books I've read in the past decade was Slack by Tom deMarco.  In it, deMarco shares how we have pushed ourselves to become so efficient (are you paying attention, all you Six Sigma and Lean disciples?) that we have forgotten how to be effective with what really counts.  We've neglected our focus on the critical few things in our organizations.  We allow distractions in the form of emails and meetings.

Do you know how to pull a Nancy Reagan and "Just Say No"?  Most of us are so afraid of saying no because we've tricked ourselves into believing we'll never be asked again.  We schedule ourselves into a corner to make ourselves indispensible.  Then we wonder why we can't be promoted or transferred to a better opportunity.  And we scoff when we hear, "You're just too valuable here."  And then we have the audacity to wonder how we got pigeon-holed.

Starting today, look at your schedule.  For every meeting you have scheduled, ask yourself these questions:

• What would happen if I didn't attend?
• Would I get a true reflection of the meeting from the minutes?
• Are there any decisions which will be made where I NEED to have input?
• Could I send a trusted delegate to get the same result?
• Is there already somebody there who feels exactly the same way I do and will voice their opinions?
• Will I get any value out of this meeting (either short-term or long-term)?
• Am I an integral part of the meeting?  Could the meeting objectives still be met?
• Do I need to report on any action items?  Could I email the meeting leader with the status update?

If you start declining the meetings from your schedule which aren't adding value to you or to the meeting, imagine how much time you could free up.  (By the way, be brutally honest with yourself when answering those questions.  Too often, we operate under the fallacy that we ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO be there.)  Then take the time you would have spent in the meeting to find other ways to save time and build slack.

The Dog-Eat-Dog World of Misinformation

Pssst.  McCain is winning in a poll.  But don't tell anyone, OK?

Which poll is it?  Well, evidently, McCain is beating Obama in a poll among pet-owners.  Yup, that's right, 42% to 37% (paws down).

What's that you say?  Who cares?  Are you kidding?!  The fate of democracy as we know it is riding with those who care for our furry little friends.  What a CAT-astrophe.  The world really is going to the dogs.

But what are these numbers REALLY telling us?  Hmmm, well, it takes responsibility to own a pet.  Does that mean that only irresponsible people like Obama?  Does that mean Obama himself is irresponsible?  After all, look at all those "Present" votes in the Senate.  Barack must be afraid to take a stand on anything.  No wonder pet-owners hate him.  (Not even I can say that one with a straight face.)

We play this game a lot with office politics, too, don't we?  We can make any piece of information sound relevant, just in the way we spin it to others.  ("By the way, did you know that HALF of the entire population is below average?")  After all, if you take a piece of information that's really true ("Susan is a really dedicated wife and mother") and turn it into a useful piece of innuendo ("If you want a really dedicated project manager, you won't be able to count on Susan"), then you've accomplished effective spin doctoring.

How do you combat this?  It's simple, just ask questions.  "Have you ever seen Susan miss a critical project milestone because of a family event?"  That generally stops the office politician dead in his tracks.  Often, she or he relies on this kind of "stretch of logic" to get their job done.  If you choose not to play along, you can accomplish your job... finding the truth.

OK, So 237 Yaks Walk Into a Room...

It sort of feels like "Oscar Night" around here... OK without the red carpet, gawdy fashions, little statues, and over plasticized celebrities... but the excitement and anticipation are definitely there.  We're getting closer and closer to launching "Age of Conversation 2 - Why Don't People Get It?" and I know Drew McLellan and Gavin Heaton are working their tails off to make sure all 237 authors have their voices herd... er... um... heard.

Besides "yours truly" I'm surrounded by a crowd of amazing conversationalists, each putting in their 400 word essays to spur readers to excellence and to action... and all in the name of charity (no author makes a dime off of this project).  I had the honor of using the first Age of Conversation book as part of the required reading list for my students, and it served as a superb springboard for discussing issues like communication, social media, and personal branding.  I can only imagine how many ways the second book can be used.  I talked to Drew last week, and they are still targeting a late August release.

Without further ado, let me introduce you to the other authors:

Here they are:

Adrian Ho, Aki Spicer, Alex Henault, Amy Jussel, Andrew Odom, Andy Nulman, Andy Sernovitz, Andy Whitlock, Angela Maiers, Ann Handley, Anna Farmery, Armando Alves, Arun Rajagopal, Asi Sharabi, Becky Carroll, Becky McCray, Bernie Scheffler, Bill Gammell, Bob LeDrew, Brad Shorr, Brandon Murphy, Branislav Peric, Brent Dixon, Brett Macfarlane, Brian Reich, C.C. Chapman, Cam Beck, Casper Willer, Cathleen Rittereiser, Cathryn Hrudicka, Cedric Giorgi, Charles Sipe, Chris Kieff, Chris Cree, Chris Wilson, Christina Kerley (CK), C.B. Whittemore, Chris Brown, Connie Bensen, Connie Reece, Corentin Monot, Craig Wilson, Daniel Honigman, Dan Schawbel, Dan Sitter, Daria Radota Rasmussen, Darren Herman, Dave Davison, David Armano, David Berkowitz, David Koopmans, David Meerman Scott, David Petherick, David Reich, David Weinfeld, David Zinger, Deanna Gernert, Deborah Brown, Dennis Price, Derrick Kwa, Dino Demopoulos, Doug Haslam, Doug Meacham, Doug Mitchell, Douglas Hanna, Douglas Karr, Drew McLellan, Duane Brown, Dustin Jacobsen, Dylan Viner, Ed Brenegar, Ed Cotton, Efrain Mendicuti, Ellen Weber, Eric Peterson, Eric Nehrlich, Ernie Mosteller, Faris Yakob, Fernanda Romano, Francis Anderson, Gareth Kay, Gary Cohen, Gaurav Mishra, Gavin Heaton, Geert Desager, George Jenkins, G.L. Hoffman, Gianandrea Facchini, Gordon Whitehead, Greg Verdino, Gretel Going & Kathryn Fleming, Hillel Cooperman, Hugh Weber, J. Erik Potter, James Gordon-Macintosh, Jamey Shiels, Jasmin Tragas, Jason Oke, Jay Ehret, Jeanne Dininni, Jeff De Cagna, Jeff Gwynne & Todd Cabral, Jeff Noble, Jeff Wallace, Jennifer Warwick, Jenny Meade, Jeremy Fuksa, Jeremy Heilpern, Jeroen Verkroost, Jessica Hagy, Joanna Young, Joe Pulizzi, John Herrington, John Moore, John Rosen, John Todor, Jon Burg, Jon Swanson, Jonathan Trenn, Jordan Behan, Julie Fleischer, Justin Foster, Karl Turley, Kate Trgovac, Katie Chatfield, Katie Konrath, Kenny Lauer, Keri Willenborg, Kevin Jessop, Kristin Gorski, Lewis Green, Lois Kelly, Lori Magno, Louise Manning, Luc Debaisieux, Mario Vellandi, Mark Blair, Mark Earls, Mark Goren, Mark Hancock, Mark Lewis, Mark McGuinness, Matt Dickman, Matt J. McDonald, Matt Moore, Michael Karnjanaprakorn, Michelle Lamar, Mike Arauz, Mike McAllen, Mike Sansone, Mitch Joel, Neil Perkin, Nettie Hartsock, Nick Rice, Oleksandr Skorokhod, Ozgur Alaz, Paul Chaney, Paul Hebert, Paul Isakson, Paul McEnany, Paul Tedesco, Paul Williams, Pet Campbell, Pete Deutschman, Peter Corbett, Phil Gerbyshak, Phil Lewis, Phil Soden, Piet Wulleman, Rachel Steiner, Sreeraj Menon, Reginald Adkins, Richard Huntington, Rishi Desai, Robert Hruzek, Roberta Rosenberg, Robyn McMaster, Roger von Oech, Rohit Bhargava, Ron Shevlin, Ryan Barrett, Ryan Karpeles, Ryan Rasmussen, Sam Huleatt, Sandy Renshaw, Scott Goodson, Scott Monty, Scott Townsend, Scott White, Sean Howard, Sean Scott, Seni Thomas, Seth Gaffney, Shama Hyder, Sheila Scarborough, Sheryl Steadman, Simon Payn, Sonia Simone, Spike Jones, Stanley Johnson, Stephen Collins, Stephen Landau, Stephen Smith, Steve Bannister, Steve Hardy, Steve Portigal, Steve Roesler, Steven Verbruggen, Steve Woodruff, Sue Edworthy, Susan Bird, Susan Gunelius, Susan Heywood, Tammy Lenski, Terrell Meek, Thomas Clifford, Thomas Knoll, Tim Brunelle, Tim Connor, Tim Jackson, Tim Mannveille, Tim Tyler, Timothy Johnson, Tinu Abayomi-Paul, Toby Bloomberg, Todd Andrlik, Troy Rutter, Troy Worman, Uwe Hook, Valeria Maltoni, Vandana Ahuja, Vanessa DiMauro, Veronique Rabuteau, Wayne Buckhanan, William Azaroff, Yves Van Landeghem

Of The People, For The People, By The People

Originally Published In Iowabiz.com on July 2007

President Abraham Lincoln had to be emotional about this speech.  This was more than a vested interest; he was leader and lives were lost under his leadership.  And here he was... standing on the very ground where a fierce battle had been fought.

I've always been fascinated by the Gettysburg Address.  Lincoln was reminding his audience that a mere "four score and seven years ago" they were fighting to become a nation.  Now they were a nation divided.  It was a nation that, in under a century, had lost sight of the goals and ambitions they had fought so hard to gain.  The sense of a unified vision was diminished.

In our projects, we don't lose lives.  We do, occasionally, lose livelihood.  We don't communicate our goals.  We lose sight of our vision.  We fight among ourselves.  We "turn over resources."  Projects are more than just line items on budgets.  Projects are more than the creation of a cool software driven plan.  Projects are more than a weekly meeting followed by a status report that nobody reads.  Projects are about people.  The dreams are the product OF THE PEOPLE.  The tasks for completed BY THE PEOPLE.  The benefits of the project are FOR THE PEOPLE.

When we lose sight of that fundamental truth... well... then the project probably isn't worth fighting for, is it?

On this Independence Day, have a safe and fun celebration with your friends and family... and remember those who have sacrificed for our freedom.

Happy 4th of July and Carpe Factum!

Tinker Toys For the Adult Brain

A few years ago, I was sharing small talk with two female colleagues.  Actually, they were just letting me be present and listen in on their conversation, as the topic bored me (the males in their dating past), and I really couldn't get a word in edgewise even if I'd wanted to.  As they progressed through the talk, I got a glimpse at the boyfriend history of one of them.  She was currently dating an avid Harley biker at the moment (a mild-mannered suit by day).  I found out that he had been preceded by a police officer, military personnel, and a construction worker.

"Wow, all you need is a cowboy and a Native American, and your Village People collection is complete," was my interjection into the conversation.  She blanched, while the other one laughed hysterically at the reference.

After taking the Strengths Finder test, I found out that making connections is one of my major strengths.  I'm able to see patterns and find relationships among seemingly disparate things.  This is probably another reason why I am the way I am.  I tend to see these connections quickly.  This is a critical skill for professionals seeking to "seize the accomplishment."  Patterns are all around us.

Consider the following:

• A project resource makes excuses for every deliverable that comes due.  There always seems to be a sick child or broken car or dead aunt getting in the way of every project milestone.  You have a critical milestone coming up with this person's name on it.  What is your first thought?
• At the end of every month, the sales figures for a specific region spike, while they have been static for the other three weeks of the month.  You wonder if people are really buying your product at the end of the month or if the sales force is waiting until the end to report their sales.  Which is it?

One thing about patterns is they need to be observable.  Our brains pick up on things and store them and then retrieve them when they think they are relevant.  Some people connect the dots a lot easier than others.  But patterns remain all around us:  manufacturing activity, sales data, human behavior.  Mike DeWitt has an amazing video on his blog about brain patterns.  It's probably the best 25 minutes of your time you can spend if you want to figure out what's really going on inside somebody's head.

Try this:  look at a row of cubicles in your office.  Other than being gray or beige, what other patterns do you see?  Are they in order from most important to least important?  Are they all inhabited by females?  Does everybody have a plant?  What do these patterns tell you about the people who are in them and their relationship with each other?

Of course, there's always the possibility that there is no pattern whatsoever.  John Hunter points this out succinctly yet powerfully in his post from several months ago.  Finding connections and seeing patterns may just be an illusion.  Ask any publicity expert for a candidate... in the coming months, we'll be seeing numerous ads trying to make us believe there are patterns of behavior (and they'll come from both parties).  Still, if you're not looking for the patterns, it's hard to tell the good ones from the fake ones.

So... what can you do to start observing the patterns in your life?

1. Slow down.  I know that's hard in our fast paced world, but you won't see what you can't see.
2. Document.  Sometimes patterns reveal themselves over time.  Keeping track of them helps.
3. Ask Others.  Patterns sometimes require a team effort to see the big picture.

When you see the patterns start to emerge, pay attention to them.  Ask yourself what they might be telling you.  Are your compensation systems rewarding a certain behavior?  Is a product faulty?  Is a process flawed?  Is there a weak link employee who needs to be coached or removed?

By the way, not all patterns are meant to be communicated publicly.  Case in point, women do NOT like having their dating patterns analyzed.  Just thought I'd share that bit of wisdom.

The Holy Trinity Of Project Management

Originally Published in Iowabiz.com in April 2008

If you have ever been in a New Orleans kitchen, then you know that many a good Cajun dish starts with the "holy trinity":  celery, onions, and peppers.  Saute them until they are just right, and they become the cornerstone of many excellent meals. 

But you need all three to achieve just the right flavor balance.

As I learned from one of my early mentors, project management starts with its own "holy trinity":  Communication, visibility, and accountability.  All three of these together serve as the starter recipe for any successful project.

Communication is key.  As any certified project manager will tell you, a good PM will spend upwards of 90% of his or her time communicating with the team, the stakeholders, the users, and the executives.  As Emily Foshee notes,

A good project management system will provide a valuable mechanism to streamline communications with your customers and between your employees. It will help your employees complete each project phase on time and on budget, which will increase customer confidence and ultimately increase your company’s revenues.

Visibility is a forgotten element of project success.  If your project isn't hitting the right radar screens, then there will be nobody there to protect it when it hits road blocks.  Having (and using) a project dashboard report to demonstrate what projects are being tracked means that the focus will be on the right projects.  Chris Spagnuolo's dilemma on Agile/Scrum projects drives home the importance of visibility:

...Because the metrics are based on actuals being provided in near-real time by project team members, executives and customers can "peek" into the project at any given moment and know exactly what the situation is.  They don't need to wait for the weekly or monthly status reports.

Accountability is becoming a rare commodity in the workplace today.  It seems there are more and more excuses, acting in inverse proportion to results.  Creating a culture of holding people accountable for results (both in a positive and negative sense) is critical to getting things done.  As Bob Mitera comments:

As a former business owner and project manager...what if I was tired when I was supposed to be approving your pay check? Yeah...I thought so. Get to work.  If (your people) are accountable to themselves or their family...they will take action with or without you. Don't mistake passion for a job as loyalty.

Again, just as a Cajun cook needs all three elements of the holy trinity to make a successful meal, the project manager needs to channel all three elements of this holy trinity to make a successful project.  Missing any one of the three leads to something less flavorful.

Carpe Factum!

Make That High Priority... And Pronto!

When my students do their final presentations, I'm always introduced to some funny and fascinating YouTube videos I would have never found on my own.  This one came from a group doing a presentation on how miscommunication leads to office politics situations.

We could probably solve the "high priority" email crisis by doing a "reply all" to the sender with this video attached.  They might get the point.  After all, if a flood of high priority emails is annoying, imagine how much more annoying this video would seem to them?  (And, as a fun irony, send it out as low priority.)

When should an email be marked high priority?  Here are my criteria:

1. Is the sender's career, life, or livelihood in mortal danger?  If you can answer yes to any of those three, you MIGHT have a case.  For example, if the company will go bankrupt if the message isn't sent, I can see a high priority marking.
2. Do you need to CC a "cast of thousands"?  I've found very few broadcast messages that are truly high priority.  Other channels might be more appropriate.
3. Is the email requesting a specific action to be taken?  If it is only informational, can the priority truly be that high?
4. Is the message extremely time sensitive?  In this case, wouldn't a phone call work better?  You can still send the email, but does it need to be marked as high priority if it's just a back-up plan?

What are your criteria for marking emails as high priority?  How do you handle those who abuse this email function?