PURRRRR-pose Driven Life

I knew it

I knew it

I knew it

I told ya so!

Seems scientists have just proven that cats use a special purr when they want to manipulate humans.  It's called a solicitation purr.  (I'm a dog person, and they're not maniuplative as much as they're just bossy and demanding.)

I just finished a weekend of working with my graduate students on office politics.  We spent a fair amount of time talking about communication in its various forms.  There's a lot to be said for HOW we communicate things to get our way.  And cats - all of their other obvious flaws notwithstanding - have figured this out.

As far as cats go, I don't have a lot of love.  (My daughter thinks we can't get a cat because they taste like chicken.)  Kudos to the scientists who reinforced what we already suspected: when any living being wants something, they'll figure out how to get it.

We do this a lot in business.  Some of the names are nicer-sounding than manipulation; others, not so much.  We call it sucking up, art of gentle persuasion, sales and marketing, networking, or intimidation.  Others wish they could do it better.  So how does one go about PURRRR-fecting the CAT-aclysmic impacts of communication?  Here are a few tips to help you get your next back-scratching:

• Coaching - either professional or from a friend, ask somebody to watch how you communicate others and offer suggestions or things you might do to improve.
• Practice - try role playing an upcoming conversation with you to see where the weak spots in your argument may be.
• Anticipate - the best way to persuade somebody is to figure out their potential points of resistance.  It is said that truly great lawyers learn to argue the other side's case first.
• Non-verbals - watch yourself in the mirror or (if possible) videotape yourself.  See firsthand what you do that could undermine your entire message.
• Debrief - if you don't win your argument, ask the other person what you might have done differently to better persuade them.  If you do win it, ask them what it was that put you over the top.

Communication is key to seizing the accomplishment.  Try a little word of MEOWth and see what you can do to improve your persuasion skills.

(No puns were hurt in the writing of this blog post.)

Decision Incision

I so thoroughly enjoy Rosa Say.  Not just her blog, but her whole persona.  Her book, Managing with Aloha, is packed with sage wisdom derived from seemingly simple island philosophies, yet each chapter is a new nugget to be slowly savored and digested.

In true "Rosa Say fashion" she has crafted another thought-provoking blog post about decision-making, which just compelled me to comment.  (Time prevents me from commenting on a lot of blogs these days, so when I do, it's a big deal for me.)  This small paragraph is so telling I'm thinking of framing it above my desk:

For instance, is it a very solitary process for you, concentrating most deliberately on what you think, and what you then realize you believe, or is it important to you to bounce your gut instincts off others too? Do you write yourself through it (I do... my morning pages is a BIG part of my process) or do you talk your way through it? Do you bother documenting it at all, or visually mind-mapping it?

Decisions are important.  They drive us forward in business, whether they are publicly documented or privately derived.  But I'd like to take a step back from Rosa's decision-making process.  As I admitted in her comments, I'm a systems-thinking addict, and the input to any decision is ultimately a question.  So while she has beautifully dissected decision-making, I want to pick apart the questions which create the need for a decision.

In short, are we asking the right questions?

If the answer to that is "NO" then no decision-making matrix will cure the issue at hand.  In my current creativity class, I've been challenging my students to rethink how they think.  Are they looking in the right places?  Are they asking the right questions?  Are they framing the world around them in the right context?  Deep questions, eh?  Not necessarily?

I tend to categorize questions in three ways:

1. Verb-led questions:  Some people call these close-ended questions because the answer can generally be a yes or a no.  But often, people don't realize they are asking a close-ended question.  Being a bit of a grammar geek (marriage to an English teach only exacerbates the problem), I prefer to use the term "verb-led" because close-ended questions always start with a verb:  Can I...?  Did you...?  Will he...?  Should she...?  Have you...?  Are they...?  Not a lot of information comes out of one of these questions.  I use them when the decision needs a quick yes or no (which is never as often as I'd like).

2. Project-manager questions:  Who, when, where, what?  Better than a verb-led question, these will prompt you for more information... factual information.  Data-driven information.  I call these project manager questions because these are the questions most often asked by project managers.  They live in the concrete world.  Give them a date and a deliverable and they're generally a happy bunch.  Show them a resource chart to say who is working on what and they're downright giddy.  Again, there's a time and a place for this kind of question, but the decisions derived from them are still rather finite in nature.

3. Thinker-Tinker questions:  Why and how?  I ABSOLUTELY LOVE these kinds of questions!  Or throw an "if" statement or two on one of the above categories, and you've just moved into the category of really digging down deep into something.  It's the thought-process equivalent of rolling up your sleeves and getting all gooey up to your elbows.  But I don't ask these questions simply to pontificate.  I generally don't care if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it whether or not it made a sound.  (Gimme a chainsaw and I'll show you a sound, buddy).  These cannot be driven by a simple decision-diamond, nor should they.  Give some time to explore and discussion and argue and backtrack and query and quandry... these kinds of questions yield gold.  They help you solve and diagnose, examine and dissect, combine and contract  They help you THINK.

We all need to make decisions, but the pre-cursor is whether we can make an incision in the decision to find the inquisition.  Think about that one for a while.  Then take two questions and call me in the morning.

Noise: 1 - Voice: 0

The other day, the local SWAT team was out in force, doing some training on entries and apprehending suspects.  (Yes, I'm still volunteering as their photographer, and yes, the book is still on target for a 2009 release... but more on that later.)  A couple of challenging aspects of this particular training were the temperature and the facilities.  For point of reference, an all brick/concrete building in the middle of an Iowa winter is COLD.

The SWAT team brought along a portable generator and some very high-powered heaters to mitigate the frigid temps, but they were EXTREMELY LOUD.  While they helped provide some temporary respite from the cold, they made communication somewhat challenging.  Orders of "Police! Put your hands on your head!" was generally met with a response of "Huh?" or "I can't hear you."  Most of these guys have fairly booming voices, so for the heaters to compete for attention is fairly significant.

In communicating directions for our accomplishments, we sometimes don't realize that we're competing with noise.  The noise is generally not obvious, and comes in the form of perceptions (have you ever tried listening to somebody you don't like), health (try communicating when tanked up on cold medicine), fear (everybody is wondering if they will have a paycheck next month), among other things.

How do you know if you are competing with noise?

• Body language: folded arms and lack of eye contact are generally good indicators
• Divide and conquer: ask multiple senders their interpretation of your message
• Feedback loop: are the responses fitting the message?

OK, those are the easy ones...  the stuff they teach you in Communication 101.  What happens when the noise is being created by something beneficial, like our heaters?  What do you do when your message runs counter to a needed company policy, a popular employee benefit, or a sacred cow of your organizational culture?  The first step for you as a communicator is to recognize this constraint.  Too many people take corporate communication too lightly, only to be burned by their own messages.  Once you know what you are up against, you can tailor your message and your medium to fit the audience and the situation.  Keep in mind, your revised approach may mean that you AVOID or DELAY the communication.  Also remember, your delivery of the message, no matter how well thought out or executed, may still yield a negative response.  The trick to communicating your accomplishments is to be constantly and acutely prepared... loud heaters notwithstanding.

Return to Sender

About five years ago, I had a spectacular group of students in my graduate organizational management class.  It was a relatively large class for an MBA course (45 students), but this particular group meshed very well, and it never really seemed like teaching.  I would go in, throw out a few "thought grenades" and these students carried the discussion.  Three hours every week for 15 weeks.  It was amazing and energizing.  I've only had one other section of students who collectively fell in that UBER-WOW category since.  It's a rare phenomenon when a class fires on ALL cylinders ALL the time, and a professor knows when it happens.

Anyway, back to five years ago, I had just given the mid-term exam, which was primarily essay.  The grades were really good, and I provided each student with the appropriate feedback.  After class, I had one student linger after longer than she usually did.  When most of the students had cleared out, she came up to me holding her exam, and she had tears in her eyes.  I thought this was strange, because out of a class of 45, I remembered her exam specifically.  Her writing was BEAUTIFUL, and I've had few students who have rivaled her expressiveness and descriptions.  As a matter of fact, I commented that she should consider writing professionally on her exam.

Being the concerned professor, I asked her if anything was wrong or if she had a question.  She choked back the tears as she explained what my comments had meant to her.  She told me that her own husband always criticized her writing and was constantly telling her how bad it was.  The problem was that she believed him.  She heard his negative input too many times, and she had started to accept it as reality.  And one honest comment from a well-meaning professor had completely changed her mindset.  I lost track of that student over the years (darn it).  I'd love to find out what happened to her and her career.  For me, it was just genuine exam feedback.  For her, it was the world.  I look back over my teaching career and there are more blurs now than I care to admit.  But there are moments that shine brighter than any star.  This was one of them.

What about the people around you?  What messages have they been receiving from bad bosses, mean-spirited co-workers, and harsh customers?  And what message are they waiting to hear from you which could erase all of the negative messages?  Sometimes our greatest accomplishment of the moment can be the simple "atta boy" or "good job" we give to others.

Are We Even Having The Same Argument?

There were a couple of great editorials in the Wall Street Journal this past weekend (actually, there were a lot of them, but a couple I wanted to hit on specificially).  One was an article by Lee Siegel on the current political landscape.  No, I'm not going to spout any anti-Obama rhetoric here, nor will I make any comments on The Bridge to Nowhere.  For once, there was somebody who actually captured the essence of the election.  One of the excepts, which WSJ used to tagline the article, summarized the issue rather eloquently:

Liberals always think there's something broken in politics.  Conservatives always think there's something wrong with the culture.

That's the problem!  Our two sides aren't even having the same argument.  What we have is a national version of the husband's irritation about a scratch in the car merged with a wife's annoyance about a constantly vertical toilet seat.  They're arguing about the purchase of a new sofa, but he's bringing up issues about how she never takes care of things, and she is countering with arguments about how he can't bring things to closure.  Their words and emotions really have nothing to do with sofa fabrics or price ranges.  Meanwhile, the kids (nationally, a growing base of disenfranchised voters) see exactly what's going on and want nothing to do with either party because of it.

The other editorial was by Phil Gramm and Mike Solon.  It made some great economic comparisons between Michigan's current economy and what an Obama Whitehouse would look like.  Looking beyond the obvious slant against Democrats' economic policies, we see another underlying argument flaw in this election.  Neither side can even see the positive the other one brings to the table.  Each party's platform contains positive elements, but the other side would never consider acknowledging them.  We're clouding the issue with rhetoric and smoke and mirrors and character smears.  Yes, it is both sides who are accomplishing this.  What I liked about the Gramm-Solon editorial was its use of statistics to point out positives and negatives of economic policies.  It didn't play to heartstrings about unemployment; it stated numbers and facts.  Yes, it was meant to persuade, but to do so factually rather than emotionally.

We do it in our workplaces and professional relationships, also.  In office politics, we attempt to villify the other party and not acknowledge anything positive they may bring to the project or the department.  We cloud the issues with our own brand of innuendo and rhetoric.  The owners of a firm I used to subcontract through were masters of this technique.  I've joked with people that the Midwest uses passive-aggression as a food group.  I've watched many a meeting, project, and career be derailed by emotion.

Hmmm... sounds like we could all use a big ol' collective time-out to think about how we're running this campaign... and our offices.

Are You Phoning It In?

With our geographically distributed workforces, we're seeing more and more meetings occurring via conference call and webchat.  Certainly, the collaboration software industry has exploded over the past 10 years.  I'm all for using technology as it is not only more efficient but better from a green/sustainability perspective as well.

However, there's a time and a place to "phone it in" and then there are situations where person-to-person contact is necessary.  A few years ago, I served on a project which had dozens upon dozens of individuals spread from coast to coast.  While it was very expensive for them to do so, the executives paid for the team to meet once a quarter (usually in an airline hub city like Denver or Chicago or Minneapolis).  We presented our findings and results and progress to each other, but mostly we were able to build real face-to-face relationships.  People would go out for dinner or drinks following the presentations, and tensions during conference calls and email exchanges were generally minimal during the life cycle of this project.

If you think of communication as a task rather than as an investment, the channel through which it is delivered won't matter much.  Ironically enough, the most dysfunctional communication behavior I ever experienced was from the CEO and founder of a collaboration software company.  Sometimes, you have to get up out of your chair and have a real live conversation.

How can you arrange a face-to-face meeting with the important people in your professional life?

Running With The Bull

If you've been reading this blog for a while, many of you know, despite my longstanding conservative bent, I believed firmly Hillary Clinton was the best pick for president.  I've moved past my disappointment in the Democrats for choosing Barack.  It's still fun to watch as the candidates have dangled hints their VP choices in front of us for weeks.  As Letterman said of the Biden pick the other night, "Nothing says change like a 35-year veteran of the Senate."  But on the other side:  if McCain wants any shot at the White House, his VP pick will almost have be a minority or more necessarily a woman to lure the disenfranchised Hillary supporters who are on the fence over these two mediocre candidates; to have "two white males" on the ticket sets the Republicans up for almost certain failure in November.  (I don't suppose there's any chance Hillary would switch parties last minute to become John's running mate... oops... forgot to turn on my "inside voice" filter... sorry.)

Sigh.  So many office politics applications.  So little time.

But I wanted to take a moment to talk about Hillary's speech last night.  Some of the traits I admire about Hillary are her ability to turn a phrase to her own gain.  I was telling a friend of mine this past week, "All Hillary has to do is deliver a speech that makes herself sound good and will have both sides arguing about what she really meant."

Congratulations, Hillary!

She reaffirmed my reasons for thinking she was the best person for the job.  After all, the President of the United States needs to be skilled in oratory skills - not just making pretty speeches, but in letting each audience member come away with his or her own interpretation.  Reagan was a master of that.  It was entertaining on multiple levels to flip between the talking heads on Fox News and CNN last night after her speech was complete.  Wow!  One would wonder if they were talking about the same speech delivered by the same person.  Let's face it, the hosts on the talk shows on both sides are sheep; none showed much critical thinking ability in truly dissecting the speech objectively.  Last night I heard the following:

• She only mentioned Barack 9 or 10 times.
• She mentioned him more times than Kennedy mentioned Carter in the 1980 Convention.
• She merely said not to vote Republican.
• She unified the party.
• Her description of McCain was more personally glowing than her description of Obama.
• She's a strong Barack supporter now.
• She never talked about Barack's character or leadership; she could have delivered that same speech about any of her Democratic opponents.

(Just for fun, would you like to match the above comments to CNN or Fox?)

Now to the professional applications:  When we communicate a message - especially a really tough message - how much time do we really spend on things like word choice, tone, and voice?  Do we expend much effort on our audience's interpretation of our communication, or do we just spit out what we want to say?  Do we read body language of our audience to tell if we're connecting with them (by the way, someone needs to teach Michelle Obama how to smile when listening to somebody she loathes... that scowl on her face during Hillary's speech was something neither party could miss).  Whether we're communicating remotely or in person, do we do some research on our intended audience to figure out what their hot buttons are and what they want to hear?  Are there times when you need to communicate something by saying absolutely nothing?  To summarize, when we communicate, are we asking ourselves what we want to say, or are we asking ourselves what we want our audience to hear?

I'm not really looking for a political debate on this.  After all, if the talking sheep on CNN and Fox can't agree, why would a little ol' blog have anything new to add.  Believe it or not, I'm still relatively in the undecided camp, and I'll probably make up my mind when I'm casting my ballot in November.  But until then... Wow - it's going to be a fun nine weeks until the election.

I am, however, looking for a good communication debate.  What have you done in the past to communicate your message effectively... on your own terms?  Did I assess the Hillary speech correctly?  What has been your most impactful communication you've delivered?

Make That High Priority... And Pronto!

When my students do their final presentations, I'm always introduced to some funny and fascinating YouTube videos I would have never found on my own.  This one came from a group doing a presentation on how miscommunication leads to office politics situations.

We could probably solve the "high priority" email crisis by doing a "reply all" to the sender with this video attached.  They might get the point.  After all, if a flood of high priority emails is annoying, imagine how much more annoying this video would seem to them?  (And, as a fun irony, send it out as low priority.)

When should an email be marked high priority?  Here are my criteria:

1. Is the sender's career, life, or livelihood in mortal danger?  If you can answer yes to any of those three, you MIGHT have a case.  For example, if the company will go bankrupt if the message isn't sent, I can see a high priority marking.
2. Do you need to CC a "cast of thousands"?  I've found very few broadcast messages that are truly high priority.  Other channels might be more appropriate.
3. Is the email requesting a specific action to be taken?  If it is only informational, can the priority truly be that high?
4. Is the message extremely time sensitive?  In this case, wouldn't a phone call work better?  You can still send the email, but does it need to be marked as high priority if it's just a back-up plan?

What are your criteria for marking emails as high priority?  How do you handle those who abuse this email function?

Spring Cleaning Your Project Archives

Originally Published In IowaBiz.com in April 2008

The requirements and specifications drafted for your project solution.

The minutes from all of those project meetings.

The status reports, drafted weekly.

The change requests, approved or denied.

The project plan.

The business case... or project charter... or statement of work... whatever you use to define the project up front.

What happens to all of these things when you are done with your project?  Well, there are a couple of different approaches. 

Ending a project is like spring cleaning.  Things either get thrown away, go in the garage sale pile, or go into seasonal storage (to be brought out later when needed).  Unfortunately, many project managers treat all of the project documentation like one of the first two categories (dispose or never access again) instead of the third.

Saving your project files in an easily accessible location allows reuse for other project managers to learn from you and your project - the good and the bad.  It also diminishes rework on future projects.  ("Remember that great test plan that Fred wrote last year?  Yeah, use that as a template.")  You no longer have to reinvent the wheel.

So don't toss that documentation into the spring cleaning bin too quickly.  It may be useful after all.  Just find a way to store it effectively so others can access it.

Carpe Factum!

Ob(li)vious

And we wonder why we have employee policy binders that are four inches thick.

Could it be that we're just communicating way too much that really doesn't need to be said?

What is your organization communicating (expressly or implicitly) that is creating eye-rolling among the ranks?

Thanks to one of my students for sharing this picture with me... great thought to start out the work week.

Are You Flushing Your Message?

This past weekend at SOBCon, Kristen King advised us all (via Twitter) of an interesting issue.  There was a placard in the women's restroom advising people to turn off their lavalier microphones BEFORE using the facilities.  Sage advice.  The only problem was that the sign was posted on the inside of the bathroom door, so people didn't see it until exiting.  (By the way, thanks, Kristen, for humoring me by taking my camera into the women's room to capture this phenomenon... evidently the men in Chicago don't make this faux pas.)

Are you giving people warning messages at the right time and in the right way?  Are you posting the messages WHERE they'll see them and WHEN they'll need them?  I've seen too many professionals who "conveniently bury" critical messages.  I've seen others who have ignored those same messages.  So, how can we communicate better?

Before you deliver a message, use the military approach of HUA:

• Will the recipient HEAR the message?  How can I make them listen to it?
• What can I do to make them UNDERSTAND the message (both the content and the importance)?
• In what ways can they convey their ACKNOWLEDGMENT of the message?

And turn off your microphones in the restroom... PLEASE!

Making Noise

A picture is worth a thousand words... and a few hundred calories when it makes you laugh.

Having just finished giving two presentations about "what your project team isn't telling you," I heard a lot of pain and fear about making noise to the executives.  It seems a few people have witnessed messengers being shot.  Ironically, I saw this sign in New York City this morning, and I just had to share it.  I wonder who is enforcing it, because honking is a language in and of itself in a city that hears about every tongue imaginable spoken.  Somehow I doubt that anybody has collected much money in honking penalties.

So... is your reluctance to speak up and "honk your horn" at work due to "obsolete" signs that should be ignored?  As I told both the audiences, the really good executives will listen when the message is presented intelligently and with an orientation toward solutions.  The times that any executive gets hyper is when she or he is blindsided with a problem that is dumped on his or her lap with no sign of a solution in sight.  The bad executives will blow a gasket regardless of the message or the delivery.

Just something to think about as you are about to deliver bad news.

This Little Light of Mine

The other night, I was able to follow along with the SWAT team once again.  My role has evolved a little with them, and in addition to researching my next book, I am now their volunteer photographer.  (As volunteer community service goes, I scored the jackpot!  These guys are great!)

Rather than following specific scenarios as they had the last two times I've tagged along, the guys spent most of their time on basic drills:  room entries, searches, Lincoln drills, stairways, stacks, night vision, and corner advancement (using mirrors).  After dark, they were given some basics on flashlight safety and technique.

Huh?  Police SWAT guys need to learn how to use a flashlight?

There is actually a lot more to the art and science of flashlight usage than meets the eye, especially for the tactical officer.  A SWAT operator needs to be able to search a room quickly.  If that room is dark, he needs to use his flashlight in a way that's not going to make him a walking target.  Some of the techniques discussed included strobing (turning your light and off quickly so you can advance a few feet at a time) and rotating the flashlight with your wrist to make it difficult for the "bad guys" to pinpoint the light source.  The instructor was a wealth of knowledge on do's and don't's to keep everyone safe.

While listening to the very knowledgeable SWAT instructor, I started thinking about some of the parallels with communication.  Sometimes, it becomes difficult to pinpoint the source of a message as well.  When there is "big news on the grapevine" or the "office gossip is running rampant," the source of their information can be challenging to determine.  The media and pollsters in New Hampshire figured that one out this week as well, with Obama's 10 point lead becoming a 3 point loss to Clinton.  Where did they get their data?  Who knows?  But it turned out to be very inaccurate.

So what do you do when somebody is strobing and rotating a piece of "communication light" in front of you?  How can you get to the source to determine where the light is really coming from?  A few ideas:

• Don't act on the information too quickly - if you can, sit on it overnight or for a few days.  Some rumors are simply a "flash in the pan" and fizzle out quickly.  The more sensational the rumor, the faster it seems to fizzle.
• Find multiple, independent sources - if you hear people from different departments and functions who are saying pretty much the same thing, there may be a little more validity to the information.  Don't be afraid to do a little independent investigative research yourself.
• Consider the source - what is the credibility of the individual who is speaking?  If they are nothing more than the office tabloid mongerer, then it's probably a case of "boy crying wolf."
• Challenge the source - using phrases like "Wow, that's serious information, where did you hear that?" or "I bet the boss will go on a witch-hunt over that news" may get the person to back-pedal a little and tone down the message.

The last thing about flashlight safety also applies to communication:  don't allow yourself to get blinded unexpectedly.  For SWAT operators, it could mean their life.  For you, it could mean your career.

Sniffing Butts

You just have to love dogs.  No handshakes.  No pleasantries.  No faking it.  If they want to get to know another canine, they just walk up and sniff the other dog's butt.  With our prior dog, Casey, we got to the point where we would not tell her we were going to the pet supply store... we'd ask her if she wanted to "go sniff butts."  She perked up, tail started wagging, and she ran to her leash.  Our current dog, Zorro, doesn't quite have the same vernacular, but he knows the routine.  When he meets another dog, the nose "goes below" and that's all the introduction he needs.

Now, I'm sure at this point, I've just grossed out all of the non-dog-people in my reading audience.  That's fine, because they probably wouldn't get it anyway.  I wonder if there's a correlation between "dog people" and bloggers, because we're really good at "sniffing blogospheric butts," aren't we?  We generally don't ask... we go into a blog, sniff around, and leave a comment.  And woof, woof, bow-wow, we're communicating!

There are some blog butts that you need to start sniffing, if you haven't discovered them already.  Some of my current and former Drake University students are turning into blogging machines.  Eric Peterson is has gotten the attention of some great bloggers like Troy Worman and Ann Michael and Steve Farber... and for good reason... he writes brilliant and relevant posts.  Another excellent writer is Erik Potter (no relation to Harry).  He's hit Valeria Maltoni's radar and his post about embracing your inner mullet is hilarious.  Beth Peck is a former student who has a lot of heart and passion in her job as a college recruiter for Simpson College.  She doesn't have the time to blog as frequently as she would like because she's currently managing the blogging efforts of nine other people at her college!

But it's not just my students whose blogospheric behinds are worth a whiff.  I discovered Jeri Merrell's Ungeek It blog through Andrew Boyd's Fabicus blog, while writing for Iowabiz.com.  These are people who can really write!  More importantly, these are people you really need to read.

So... have you sniffed around to get to know somebody new a little better?

UPDATE:  My mistake.  It was Bob Loch, not Erik Potter, whose been "sniffing around" Valeria's blog.  Sorry for the overlook, Bob.  Just too many great blogs.  I feel like a pup in a dog park.

Now THIS Is An Elevator Speech

I've always said that every professional needs to be prepared with an elevator speech... you know, the 30-second yada-yada-yada that you can give your CEO if he asks what you're doing and how you add value to the company.  It should not be that hard.  After all, if Anita Renfroe can take every single line that a mom says in a 24 hour period and condense it to under 3 minutes and set it to the William Tell Overture, how hard really can YOUR job be?  Enjoy!

Communication = Angle + Timing

Happy first day of Autumn!  We're coming up on my favorite time of year... the cooler temps, the colors, football, holidays... and, oh yeah, the Mayan ruins.

Huh?

The Mayans, whose culture centered around southern Mexico and the central Americas, were amazing astronomers.  The ruins at Chichen Itza in the Yucatan peninsula are evidence of this.  Every year, on both the vernal and autumnal equinox, a shadow forms on the staircase of the main pyramid (the Castillo) and takes the appearance of a giant snake.  Accident?  I doubt it, or the Mayans would not have created a giant snake's head at the base of the stairs.  I was there 19 years ago (next spring) and it is truly a phenomenon to behold.  Still, it only happens twice a year, at exactly sunset, on this one building.

That's also how it happens in communication, isn't it?  It's all about timing and the angle with which the message is delivered and perceived.  I was checking out Ron Karr's blog, and he provided a great example of timing in communication.  Our timing is a constant conscious decision... or at least it should be.

So... how can you adjust your communication to achieve just the right angle or perception at just the right time?  Well... there's an ART to timing and perception:

• Ask - start your communications with the question:  "is this a good time?"  Often body language will give you the answer, but be sensitive to the message recipient if it's not a good time.
• Role Play - test out your message on somebody else before you deliver it to your intended target.  You may have some unintended sub-messages imbedded.
• Target - determine the outcome of your communication.  Instead of asking what you want to say, ask what you want your target to hear.

And if you can make it Chichen Itza by sunset, say hi to the tourists for me.

Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap

I know what you're thinking, and NO, I'm not going to expound on Senator Craig's recent indiscretions.  I'm not going to speculate whether he is or he isn't... whether he did or he didn't.  That's for the attorneys and political pundits and talking media heads to figure out.  There is a lesson in this news story, though.  How often do we communicate something (sometimes on purpose; others, inadvertently), and have the message come crashing down around us as things go terribly wrong?

There was a recent post in the Leadership Experience Blog that caught my attention.  In it, Casey shares some ideas about various common sense guidelines, but it was this paragraph early in the post that grabbed me:

Communication is how you verbalize what you want, when you want it and how you want it done. It also serves to give visual cues about your mood, your passion, your responses. These body language clues are not only seen but also felt and heard.

In the quest to accomplish things, we see people mess up communications in some pretty large ways.  Let me ask you, my readers, what the following communicate to you?

• Arms folded, legs crossed, eyebrows furrowed, scowl growing
• Yawning and looking at watch
• Consistently showing up late to meetings
• Cutting off a face-to-face conversation to answer email or take a cell call
• Not delivering on a promised report/assignment/task without prior warning?

Now, without being busted by an undercover communications sting operation, what can you do to avoid sending unintended messages?

Maybe He Should Have Added Seth Godin To The List

OK, this one was just too good to pass up.  We've all been hit by the CC Monster on email, as well as his little henchman, Reply All.  I found an amusing blog post by Shark Bait (where do they come up with these names?) who came up with a fun solution.  I'm not sure if it served its intended purpose, but at least it made me laugh.

I've got a user in a remote office who cc's everyone in his office, as well as the president of the company, whenever he has any problem. So when I get his email this morning that the internet seemed a little slow, and I saw that once again, the company pres was on the list, I thought it was time to take action.

When I answered that I would check into it, I hit reply-all, but added czar@ourdomain.com, comandante@ourdomain.com, and god@ourdomain.com. I knew full well that he'd reply-all again (which he did) without looking at the new list, and can only picture his face when he gets the bounces from czar, comandante, and god!

Maybe he'll get the idea!

To all of you email vigilantes out there, enjoy the moment.  It's great to see somebody tackle office politics of this sort with a sense of humor.

Authorities Baffled By Conversation Serial Killer

[Blog Wire Press] - Local authorities are baffled by a series of killed conversations.  Unfortunately, these untimely deaths are providing few clues to police, who arrive in time to find the corpse of a conversation lying dormant on the ground with no witnesses in sight.

"We're baffled.  The killer is showing no distinct patterns," stated an investigator who asked that his name not be used.  The most recent victim was found on a sidewalk near an abandoned garage.  Victims have been found in all parts of town, some in very prominent and well-trafficked areas.  None have survived to identify the perpetrator(s).

Many citizens are becoming more and more concerned about the safety of their conversations, and are taking them online, where they are perceived to be safe.  However, this may or may not be the best solution, depending on one's prowess with social media.  The killers may exist on-line, but may just take on different appearances to suit their needs.

Investigators are researching past "crimes against communication" (CAC) division files.  An essay by John Carey revealed some clues:

And cell phones, fortunately, are everywhere; allowing us to multiplex our minds and our lives. Cell phoning while driving. Cell phoning while eating. Talking on the cell phone at a wedding. I’ve even recently observed fast food restaurant guests talking to each other across the table on their cell phones. Do we really need to communicate this much? Are we discussing Plato or the meaning of life? Not usually. We are often scheduling more work, explaining why we are late, or just wasting time and space on the frequency band.

Meanwhile, police have rounded up some of the usual suspects of crimes of this magnitude, although not one was positively identified in a series of police line-ups.  Detectives are considering contacting conversational forensics experts, Mike Sansone or Valeria Maltoni, to consult on the case.  Meanwhile, security is being beefed up around communications gurus like Connie Reece and Lisa Gates, just as a precaution.

These recent violent acts against communication come as authorities are still reeling from the Morale Marauder, who remains at large after a scandalous spree of kidnapping team morale for ransom.  Authorities have few leads on this case after more than a year of investigation.

If you have any leads on either of these cases, or if you observe suspicious acts toward or near active conversations, you are encouraged to contact the appropriate authorities.

That Really Frosts Me

I've always been a fan of Robert Frost's poem, The Road Not Taken.  The idea of personal choice and breaking away from the crowd always are strong themes with me.  Then my wife, the high school English teacher, told me a story she had read (from multiple sources) about the origin of this poem.  It seems that Frost had a friend who loved to take walks with him and would constantly distract them from their intended path with "Oh, hey, I saw this bush down here the other day that you've just got to see" or "I wonder what's down that trail... let's go!"  This poem wasn't so much one of personal choice, but rather a sarcastic jab about his friend's eccentricities.  My wife commented that if this story about the poem were true, how much Frost would be laughing at us all from beyond the grave about the meaning we tend to put on things.

I remember a recent post by Steve Farber. in which he shared that a reader got upset that he quoted HP-helm alum, Carly Fiorina.  Steve leads a great discussion on his blog about the relationship between the words and the source of the words.  If the person isn't living up to the words that he or she says, does it make the words any less true?  At a church that my wife and I attended when we were first married, a woman in the church used to berate the preacher almost every Sunday if he quoted or referenced anybody who did not fall chapter-and-verse into our church's doctrine.  (Boy, will she be surprised about who gets into heaven.)

One of the things we fail to do in Office Politics situations is assessing context.  Do words and actions sync up with the people creating them?  If something is out of context, it should be a red flag for us.  Often, though, we look only at the person (through halo effect) or the words/actions and we miss the entire context.  Because we don't see the whole big picture, we go down paths that do not lead to effective political conclusions.

Because we find out that Frost's poem wasn't an eloquent waxing about personal choice, does that mean the words can no longer be interpreted as such?  Does that mean we can only use Frost's words as a jab against focus-impaired acquaintances?  I sure hope not.  That would make all the difference.

Accomplice-ment

I've been saying all along that accomplishment - in its various forms - is a team sport.  Rarely does any individual who accomplishes something great operate in a vacuum.  Sure, there are some egos out there who think they do, but there's always somebody behind the scenes who is helping them along.  You can't Carpe Factum alone.

In that same vein, there are some tools I've been exploring recently in my quest for building relationships that can help achieve mutually beneficial accomplishments.  While I was at the Successful and Outstanding Bloggers Conference last month, I met Derrick Sorles, who has become an excellent (and that's being mild - if there was an adjective beyond excellent to describe his help, I'd use it) mentor in managing LinkedIn.  I'm still getting my arms around what networking through this form of social medium can can do, but it has been almost as fascinating as blogging as I've been building my network.  The tool I've found most fascinating and useful has been the Questions & Answers section.  Through it, I've been able to meet some great individuals I would never have met otherwise.

Recently, Rodney Rumford, that sage of social media and prince of the platform, has persuaded me (as well as other bloggers) to set up profiles on Facebook.  Now I know what some of you are thinking:  "Facebook is to networking what Myspace is to blogging:  A teenage fun fest."  Rodney claims that there is benefit behind the acne-and-hormone-laden facade of Facebook, so I'm going to take him at his word.

However, while we were having this discussion at Liz Strauss's open mic night a couple of weeks ago (OK, OK, ignore the jokes about pirates and the horrible pun about cats), folks like Mike Dewitt and Chris Cree were voicing what I was thinking:  blogs (for some of us, multiple blogs), LinkedIn, Facebook, multiple email accounts... where does it all end?  How much can one person manage?  I'm not sure what the breaking point is.  I think the issue here is that there is a much larger world out there for bringing out thoughts and ideas together.  The tools are there for us to make this a truly phenomenal world to live in.

This leads me to three questions:

1. Whom can you leverage to accomplish something great?
2. What tools can you use to build that relationship?
3. How can we manage all of these tools without letting them overwhelm us?

Wicked Good Spin Doctoring

Tom Haskins has to quit reading my mind.  After all, I have a sort of quasi-schedule to my blog posts, and it never ceases to amaze me how he can leave a comment on one post that acts as a natural segue to my next post.  He just left an insightful comment to my recent book reviews:

Your addition of the adverb "genuine" got me thinking. I wonder if people who are "nice with a side order of backstabbing" are conscious of being nice, but unaware of their dark side? I wonder if genuinely nice people are born genuine (genetics), raised by genuinely nice parents, or it's a trait they acquired later in life. I wonder if a backstabber can change to genuine? I wonder what that change would involve: feedback, practicing skills, problem solving, therapy...? I wonder if the backstabber is merely confused, damaged by abuse, lacking goals to be genuine or lazy about improving his/her character?

Which brings me to my planned post.  A couple of months ago, my wife and I were able to see the musical Wicked while we were in southern Florida over spring break.  For those of you not familiar with this musical, it is the "story behind the story" of The Wizard of Oz.  While the musical hardly follows the book at all, I actually like it better because it meshes well with the familiar movie that we all know and love.  Besides the fact that it was one of the best musicals I've ever seen (I would rank it above Les Mis and Phantom), there was something that Wicked accomplished that no other broadway musical has up to this point:  it really made me think.

Submitted for your consideration:  Suppose everything you accepted as truth were suddenly turned on its ear and spun around about a zillion times?  We sometimes experience this with our office politics situations.  Without giving away too much of the plot, how would your thinking about The Wizard of Oz change if you knew that:

• Glinda and Elphaba (the Wicked Witch of the West) were roommates (and good friends) at school?
• Elphaba was not so much of a wicked witch as she was an animal rights activist who fell victim to bad spin doctoring?
• The pointy hat that the witch wears was actually a malicious regifting from Glinda?
• All of the characters that Dorothy (who is barely a footnote in the musical) meets in her journey actually knew each other quite well long before she arrived in Oz?

Recently, I had to face a situation where somebody I had perceived as a snake politician was one of the "good guys," and somebody else I had previously trusted was really a snake.  My perceptions were allowed to persist because of spin doctoring (rather effectively executed, considering that I've always prided myself on having a rather keen BS-o-meter).  I began to wonder what it was about this newly discovered snake which made them behave as such.  Then Tom's comment came up, and it brought to mind part of Glinda's dialogue at the beginning of Wicked:

Are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?  After all, she had a father, she had a mother, as so many of us do.... And, like any family, they had their secrets.

I'm not sure how many of Tom's questions I can answer... can you?  Sometimes reality, like spin doctoring, is very situational.  Perception is a prickly ally.  I do believe that every situation is capable of a happy ending, and that the "bad guys" eventually get theirs in the end.  We may never get to witness it, but it does happen... somewhere over the rainbow.

The Road Less Raveled

Recently, I was asked to provide feedback on somebody's performance.  To be honest, I've really been struggling with the issue of how brutally candid I want to be with my answers.  I generally tend to avoid out-and-out malice when providing feedback; after all, the word "feedback" implies that there is some mental or emotional nourishment to the recipient.  So... why the hesitancy?

We've all heard of the phrase "shoot the messenger," and it conjures the image of the Vesuvius manager waiting to erupt at the first sign of bad news.  However, like the game of Clue, there are multiple ways to injure a messenger of feedback, which in turn shuts him or her down.  See if any of these sound familiar:

• Naked Emperor - This person can see no wrong in him/herself, so if you see it, you must be an inferior being.  If the Naked Emperor wants feedback, she or he is asking for ego strokes in disguise.
• Excuses, Excuses - This person begins coming up with all of the reasons why he or she is to be exonerated for the negative feedback.  The root cause of the problem is a lack of accountability; the excuse-monger may want feedback about everyone and everything else.
• Forty Lashes - When hearing any negative feedback about himself, this person automatically starts telling you everything that you've done wrong.  Similar to the Excuses person above, the negativity is directed at you as the deliverer of feedback.  Lashing out at the messenger completely changes the scope of the feedback session.
• Passive Aggression - Similar to the Lasher above, this person will smile and nod while you are providing the feedback, only to lash out at you... later... in unpleasant ways... when you least expect it.
• Apathy - These peoplen may not even care what you have to say.  It may be due to their perception of you, or it may be that they just don't think that changing is a high priority on their list.
• Shields Up, Captain - This person becomes defensive at the first sign of negative feedback and will shut you down.  The reasons may relate to any of the other five, but it tends to be a general shutdown of receiving feedback.  Behaviors include a glazed expression or multi-tasking so they don't have to listen.

So, what do you do when you are asked to provide feedback to somebody or feel compelled to provide feedback?  There are a couple of tricks and tips:

• Determine the receptiveness - has this person historically been receptive of feedback?  If not, then anything you say or do might fall on deaf ears or get you in greater trouble
• Is the timing good - if this person is having a bad day, kicking the horse out from under them while they already have the noose around their neck is generally not a good strategy
• Fitness for use - if they've asked you for feedback, ask them why and what your feedback will be used for.  I've occasionally asked how candid they want me to be with my feedback in a humorous way:  "Do you want to be lightly toasted or extra crispy when I'm done with you?"
• Document, Document, Document - have your feedback in writing while you are delivering it to them.  Follow up with an email to recap.  When it comes to feedback, sometimes no good deed goes unpunished.

On my recent situation, I chose to pass on providing completely candid feedback.  I also chose my words very carefully, so I wasn't lying to the person, but I also wasn't being as candid as I would have liked.  The person asking me for feedback has a solid reputation as a passive aggressive naked emperor; hence, anything negative would have hurt me in the long run more than anything.

I'll happily give feedback to people when I know they will use it.  I've had to deliver very difficult messages to individuals, telling executives that their projects are failing, that they have a poor reputation among their staff, and that they are just generally heading down an incorrect path.  However, delivering those difficult messages is easier knowing the person operates with a healthy ego intact, and that the feedback will be used for good rather than evil.

NOTE:  My apologies to Robert Frost fans for the post title.  Please don't provide me feedback.  :)

Friends, Romans, Countrymen: Lend Me Your Rears

It's a scary thing to hold a project kick-off meeting.  You have a lot to accomplish in a very short period of time.  You have to introduce team members, make people aware of the scope and purpose of the project, and build enthusiasm.  Jeff Lash of Good Product Manager says that this meeting is the differentiator between good project managers and bad project managers, and I wholeheartedly agree.  There's a reason why the "kickoff" analogy from football is used.  Imagine the ref tossing the ol' pigskin in the middle of 22 guys and simply saying "Have at it, boys!"  (I think it was tried once; the XFL lasted only one season before cancellation.)

However, the scariest part of the kick-off is when your executive stands up to speak.  As a project manager, I know that these few words are a make-or-break moment.  This executive has to express his or her knowledge of the project, why it is important for success, level of enthusiasm, and why everyone's butts are on the line... and generate enough of an attitude adjustment in the meeting participants to get the project off on the right foot.  (Oh yeah, and it has to be a believable performance.)  That's one tall order.  After all, think of the damage Marc Antony accomplished by his word choice at Julius Caesar's funeral (a la Shakespeare, of course)... and he technically was following Brutus' orders to the letter of the law.

How can you pull off an executive state-of-the-project speech that will have them laughing and crying and cheering (all at the right times)?  For starters, you had better make sure that the kickoff (or right before) is not your FIRST interaction with your executive sponsor.  If it is, you may want to have the resume updated.  Sponsorship is not a role that can be "phoned in."  Assuming that your executive is already engaged in the project and communicating with you, here are some things to think about before you hand them the microphone and brace yourself for an evening at the Improv:

1. Interrogate Them For Knowledge - Can your executive tell you what the project is about, at least in laymen's terms?  Make sure your sponsor understands the scope and the purpose of the project and can explain it to other executives in an elevator trip or restroom break.
2. Test Them for Buy-In - Make sure your sponsor not only knows what the project is about and why it's important; they need to believe it.  They need to be "shouting from the rooftops" excited about this project (or scared to death if it doesn't happen).  I want to see their skin in the game, too.
3. Quiz Them for Understanding - Do they know who their stakeholders are and why each one has a part in the project?  Do they understand the office politics surrounding this project?  If they poo-poo the politics, that is a big red flag for you.
4. Rehearse - If this is a big enough project, then the sponsor is not allowed to "just wing it" at the kick-off meeting.  Do a dry run with him or her one-on-one.  Bring in a "trusted somebody" who generally sees things differently than you do to ensure that the message will be embraced across the board.  Inserting the appropriate story can do wonders to build credibility, if it is delivered well and is relevant to the cause.

While there will always be the "loose cannon" sponsor, the goal is to leverage an already healthy relationship to ensure that the first formal message is delivered on target.

April Fools

Today is the day when we're supposedly given license to try and "pull one over" on each other.  Taken in the right context, it can be fun to pull somebody else's chain on occasion.  Heaven knows that there are days I view the world as my personal plaything, and as such, I enjoy the opportunity to pull a fast one.  However, both victim and perpetrator alike quickly know the nature of the beast, and the misinformation is called for what it is.

There are times when it can be fun to do this, especially when you're a dad.  When driving to my in-laws, my daughter asked what the Mississippi was as we were driving across the mighty river.  I informed her that it was the wife of her sippy cup (Mrs. Sippy).  When we were at the zoo and she saw the dolphins on the monitors overhead and asked why those dolphins were on TV, I simply replied that their "big screen career didn't pan out."  Of course, those are the moments when pain is inflicted from my better half, so I'm slowly learning.

But what about the more nefarious type of misinformation?  What happens when somebody deliberately sets out to mislead you?  How can you tell whether the information you're being told is honest and reliable?  Recently, Drew McClellan asked a great "what if" question on his blog.  On the blogosphere, there's no honesty filter.  Unfortunately, that applies across the board to all other kinds of communication as well.  The more snake-like office politicians rely heavily on misinformation.  We have to rely on some other things to help ourselves hone our BS-o-meter (3 C's and 3 M's):

• Consistency - Is the message consistent with what you know to be true, or with other trusted sources of information?
• Character - Is the person sharing the message known for his or her character?  Would he or she knowingly lie about a topic?
• Channel - How is the message being shared?  I've found that there's a direct correlation between the integrity of the message and the openness of the channel.  Misinformation tends to travel more by word of mouth, and it tends to rely more heavily on one-on-one communication.
• Malice - Is the information being shared meant to hurt somebody?  A lot of misinformation is shared on purpose out of emotional spite.
• Motive - Is the information consistent with the intent behind it.  Ask yourself (and then ask the source):  "Why is this information being shared with me?"
• Message - What is the basic content of the message?  How outlandish or realistic is it?  Does it make you cringe to hear it?

Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon had an interesting blog post recently.  While I don't agree with her general political and social views on the topic, I'm able to be objective enough to see that she stated a very profound truth about the dangers of lying and misinformation which can be applied to either side of an emotionally charged issue:

The great insight from 1984 was how the routine nature of misinformation stripped people of their free will. If you step back and think about it, it makes perfect sense. Choices are never made in a vaccum. People draw on what they know and then make their choices accordingly. If what they “know” has been deliberately skewed by lies, then that will change the choices. Lying is almost always an attempt to coerce someone else’s choices by manipulating their knowledge base.

So, while we're playing our games with each other today, let's keep the bigger picture in mind.  We all have to go back to work tomorrow, and that's where the real games occur.  We probably need to figure out how to manage office politics better by managing the information flow.

Conversion On The Road To "Damn! Ask Us!"

Commuting back and forth between Des Moines and Kansas City presents unique opportunities to observe the locals in rural settings.  Recently, at a Missouri gas station, I heard an agitated customer voicing that she was unable to find a specific item.  The clerk's response, as he pulled the item out from behind the counter, amused me, "Damn!  Ask us!  We always keep them back here."

Damn.  Ask us.

It's amazing how infrequently we ask questions to get what we want.  We'll tell people what we want (and then listen only for what we want to hear).  We'll make assumptions that the response will be negative so we don't ask at all.  We predestine that nobody would want to hear us anyway.  So we don't ask.  And we don't get.

Former First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt, once said, "We see the world, not as it is, but as we are."  If we see the world as ripe with possibilities, then every question will yield a positive response (even if the response may not lead to the result for which we were hoping).  Jesus once said,  "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."  (Matthew 7:7, NIV)  When the Apostle Paul (then Saul of Tarsus) experienced his world-rocking conversion on the road to Damascus (ah...now you get the title pun), the conversation started out with questions... from both parties.

Right now, I'm trying to promote a new book.  I'm doing a lot of knocking, seeking, and asking.  Sometimes the responses are favorable.  Sometimes the door gets slammed back in my face.  Occasionally, there's no answer at all.  But it doesn't mean I've quit promoting.  I learned a lot about self-marketing since Race Through The Forest was released last year.  I can't rely on Amazon or my Publisher to do the work for me.  GUST is my product, and I'm the primary salesperson.  I believe that people want to manage their office politics challenges more effectively, and I want to help them do it.

I've come to the conclusion that the question is the most powerful yet under-used communication tool we have.  There's a statistic that project managers should spend 90% of their time in communication.  I'm curious how much of that time is spent telling vs. asking.  My most popular and requested speaking engagement is titled "What Your Project Team Isn't Telling You" and equips the audience to ask better questions of their project stakeholders.  A lot of the office politics issues that I resolve on the Office-Politics site could be averted by some proactive questions.

What do you want?  Is it a promotion?  A new job?  Information?  A date?  Some time?  Are you asking for it?  How are you framing your questions in such a way to set yourself up for success?

That Toddlin' Town... For Relationship Bloggers!

Paris in the spring?  Nah... too prosaic.

Meet me in St. Louis?  Why bother?

I left my heart in San Francisco.  They'll overnight it back to you.

How about... (now hold on for this one)... Chicago on May 11-12?

Take Your Blogging to the Next Level:  A Relationship Bloggers' Conference and Networking Event

Community, Friday, May 11, 2007, 6:00 PM – 9:00 PM

• Christine Kane, popular guitarist, singer, blogger LIVE
• Open Mic Night Cocktail Party – Live community event (multiple microphones) Take the conversation out of the comment box!

Speakers, Saturday, May 12, 2007, 8:00 AM – 4:30 PM

• Phil Gerbyshak, Make It Great! Relationship Geek
• Liz Strauss, Successful-Blog SOB and BAD Blogger
• David Armano, Logic+Emotion
• Terry Starbucker, Ramblings from a Glass Half Full, Rodney Rumford, PodBlaze, Ben Yoskovitz, Instigator Blog 
• Mike Sansone, Converstations and a few surprises
• Chris Cree Success CREEations, Scott Rafer, MyBlogLog , Janice Myint, Technorati
• Wendy Piersall, emomsathome ,

Interactive presentations on publishing, design and branding, tools, analytics, social networking, marketing, and coaching -- all from the perspectives of the relationship blogger and the audience.

Only 250 attendees will be accepted then the conference will be sold out.

C'mon you're not a stranger anymore!  Here's the link to register. I'll be there... will you?

Why Am I Doing This Again?

Recently, Starbucker tagged me with the simple question:  "Why do you blog?"  I'm nearing my first anniversary on the blogosphere, and I have to admit that it's been a wild ride.  To come up with reasons why I blog wasn't easy, and I felt as though spending a week pondering the question before answering would be beneficial... for me and for you.  Since Carpe Factum is about accomplishment, here are the five things I'm able to accomplish through blogging:

1. Accomplish Breadth of Relationships - I've connected with so many people in so many industries.  It's rewarding to connect with people from other disciplines and walks of life.  Sometimes, those relationships allow me to make connections I normally wouldn't have made.  I've also been able to connect with individuals with whom I'd never imagined I could (thanks, Steve and Roger).
2. Accomplish Depth of Relationships - I've seen a few posts comparing blogging with dating.  It starts out with a link or a trackback.  Then there are emails.  Occasionally, it evolves to phone calls.  Even better is having the privelege of meeting other bloggers in person.  People like Phil and Starbucker and Liz have demonstrated the great depth of friendship that can be accomplished.
3. Accomplish a Business Presence With a Personal Face - I'm a speaker, consultant, instructor, coach, and writer.  Having a blog puts a face on my business.  Some of my more successful blog posts have been those where I've put more of my soul into it and shared a little about myself.  Other successes have been those where I chose to be a little goofy and poke fun at the world around me.  Either way, my clients and potential customers can learn a little about the man behind Carpe Factum.  It helps them decide if they want to do business with me in a way no sales pitch could ever achieve.  Mike and Mike did a good job of selling me on this approach.
4. Accomplish Fun - The original reason I started blogging was to promote my book, Race Through The Forest.  With my second book, GUST - The "Tale" Wind of Office Politics, being released in a few weeks, people have been able to see my writing style as well as my management and leadership philosophies.  But what people have been able to see through it all is that I love to have fun.  I enjoy presenting the everyday and mundane in a new light.  I love word play, and I have a blast figuring out new ways to bring a smile to your face.
5. Accomplish Tranquility and Closure - My wife commented a few weeks ago that blogging has provided me with great therapy.  Instead of internalizing the frustrating individuals, companies, and projects around me, they now become fair game for blog fodder.  And I have to admit, there is so much inspiration out there for writing.  GUST is probably as much of an expose of the last 20 years of behavior as it is an office politics reference.  The same is true of my blog; I rarely rely on theory when there is ample application available.  (NOTE:  I never divulge client names unless they've done something really great that needs to be highlighted, and even then I ask permission before identifying them.)

OK, who now gets tagged now in this little meme?  I'd like to point the spotlight at some people I'd like to know better (and whom you should know better as well).  So... Jane, Tom, Robert, Troy, and Adam... the ball is in your court.  Why do you blog?

Tex Support

I've been sporting a new hat this winter.  With all of the travel out west during the 4th quarter, my wife suggested I treat myself to something fun during one of more intense trips, so I picked out a black cowboy-style hat.  Yesterday during the monthly Central Iowa Bloggers' Summit, my fellow-bloggers teased me about the whole "shoot 'em up, Tex" image.  Of course, Mike Sansone wryly observed that all I had to do was smile and the whole bad cowboy image was shot (no pun intended).

In business, we tend to give a bad name to those who make authoritative decisions.  Sometimes, that reputation is earned as authoritative decision-making is their ONLY style.  I once had a boss who informed me that my input existed only for her amusement.  However, the other end of the spectrum is almost as bad.  I've seen leaders who are too consensus-oriented.  They care so much about the opinions of all of the stakeholders that when the time comes for a decision, it becomes difficult to move forward.

I discovered David McDermott's site recently, and he had a post last November comparing and contrasting the different decision-making styles.  The point David makes is to place an emphasis on flexibility and balance.  The decision-making style should fit the situation, environment, stakeholders, and expertise available.

The other trick is to be respectful of others' decision-making styles and to consider all the above factors when someone uses a decision-making style with which we may not agree.  They may know some things we don't.  Certainly, there's room for dialogue and discussion in these situations, but there's a reason why it's called leadership.  Occasionally, the leader has to step up and take ownership for the decision... preferably without the cowboy hat and the six-shooter.

Central Iowa Blogging Community

Last Friday, the Central Iowa Bloggers connected at the Panera on University.  For those who think blogging is just a way for people to connect online without building any real relationships, check out these pictures.

The community continues to grow, and leading the charge is Mike Sansone (blogging evangelist extraordinaire).  The following people were able to make it:

Drew McLellan

Adam Steen

Hannah Steen

Rush Nigut

Brett Trout

Tim Johnson

Mark True

Cory Garrison

Sherry Borzo

Doug Mitchell

Michael Libbie

Brett Rogers

Andy Brudtkuhl

Matt Owen

Sandy Renshaw

Check out the new site that Andy set up for us.  The community being formed through blogs is very powerful, and I never cease to be amazed at the relationships being formed across industries.

Did I Hear That Right?

While I was at the Denver Airport today on layover, I stopped into the Qwest Business Center to catch up on some email and was right by the kids play area.  I couldn't help overhearing a young waif wailing out his own rendition of Jingle Bells.  It's amazing how some children hear things a certain way, and I hope this is no reflection on his home life.  The part about "one horse open sleigh" somehow became "one whore, soap and sleigh."  YIKES.  He even repeated himself multiple times, and he was very clear about what he was singing.  Just a little twist of the words and a favorite holiday tune becomes soft porn.  Go figure.

It reminded me of a story a good friend of mine shared with me a couple of months ago.  He had suffered a mild ear injury right before a team off-site meeting.  One of his colleagues was sharing a team-building exercise she was planning, and she informed him that she had brought 10 bottles of glue.  With his "bum ear," he thought he heard 10 bottles of Kahlua.  Now that's an exercise they didn't teach me in facilitation school.

This holiday season, you'll see a lot of public service announcements asking you to drink responsibly.  For the other 51 weeks of the year, I'd like to challenge you to listen responsibly.  Otherwise, you never know what might happen.

Dear Friends and Family...

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGG!

The dreaded holiday letter time is upon us.  Every year, we receive a few letters from friends and family detailing how perfect their children are, how many material goods they've acquired throughout the year, and how envious we should all be that we're even on their holiday card list.  Granted, most of the cards and letters we receive are perfectly normal and appropriately newsy, but there are those few that stick out.

I'm always amused when challenges strike the lives of the perky-and-perfect, just to see what kind of spin they will put on it.  An ill-behaved underachieving child suddenly becomes the "artistic, sensitive soul who is struggling to find her voice."  The newly laid-off executive is now "aflourish with options for creating this new chapter in his life."  The overworked and oft-scattered mom is "seeking balance among the many exciting opportunities."

My wife and I have settled on a relatively simple format for our letter over the years:  she collects and assembles a nice photo collage for one side of the page, and I write the text for the other side of the page.  It seems to work for us.  Of course, I like to be brutally honest in my observations, so a little spin doctoring is sometimes required during the editing process.  My younger daughter's unhealthy obsession with Elmo becomes a childish delight in embrassing monster diversity.  My older daughter's occasional drama-queen tendencies become an interest in pursuing a career in the theater.  My lead foot will be documented as a push for a quick drive to accomplishment.  (I'll leave my wife out of this illustration; I like sleeping in my bed at night.)

Anyway... just some thoughts from the sidelines as we complete our year-end to do list...

Torn Between Two Bloggers

Blogging... ya just have to love this medium!!!  I was driving with my family to the Valley High Homecoming festivities tonight when I received a call on my cell... from none other than Phil Gerbyshak (don't ask how he got my cell number... long story).  It was the second phone call from him in a week, so I felt genuinely honored to be talking to Mr Make-It-Great with such frequency.

A little small talk, some quick banter, and he soon informed me that he was in the process of having dinner with Liz Strauss.  I'd recently discovered Liz' awesome blog through Phil and Steve Farber and Starbucker (I figured if that many amazing people were talking about someone that highly, then it wasn't too hard to extrapolate greatness to that person as well).  I'd posted a couple of comments to her blog, and also emailed her to voice my appreciation for all that she does for the blogosphere.  Evidently, while Phil and Liz were talking, the conversation drifted to yours truly, and Liz was curious if I was just a "one link stand."  And Phil, being the chivalrous and helpful gentleman that he is, replied, "I dunno, let's call him and find out."

So before I knew it (and virtually without warning), I was talking to Liz Strauss herself on the phone.  I'm positive she thinks I'm a complete buffoon as I was trying to focus my attention on her, rush hour traffic, a first grader, and a toddler (the latter three all demanding my attention in various volumes).  Anyway, I must not have scared her off too badly since I was eventually able to complete full sentences in response to her questions.

Why am I sharing this story?  A week ago, I was in a meeting with some "academic types" who were poo-pooing blogging as a mere fad, that it had no credible significance to the business world, and that it was basically a blight to serious online business.  Granted, nine months ago I would have dismissed blogging as the communication tool of choice for teenagers and stalkers, but I've seen the light.  I've made so many valuable business connections and have created an amazing network of people in six short months.... The people with whom I communicate are outstanding individuals in their own right - authors, speakers, instructors, thought leaders - curve wreckers on the grade of humanity.

Of course, I realize that touting the benefits of blogging on a blog is the metaphorical equivalent of preaching to the choir.  Still, for that small set of academics with their heads in the... ahem... sand, how many of them get to exchange emails and phone calls with their favorite authors and speakers?  Imagine what could happen with our projects - with our organizational communication in general - if we approached our daily interactions with the same fervor, interest, genuineness, and passion that good bloggers do.

By the way, Phil is having breakfast with Steve Farber on Saturday.  I'll make sure I'm not in my car when I take that phone call.  And, Phil, thanks for the introduction to Liz!

Testing the Waters

Are you frustrated with all of the acronyms and lingo on your projects?  Are you going to scream if you hear somebody talk about "QA-ing the DEV and SIT" or asking for an "FYI on the EAC to CYA"?  Then it's time to fight fire with fire.  Recently in a project meeting, we were hashing out the details of User Acceptance Testing (UAT) in our project.  It was decided that we needed to have an additional 2-3 week "preliminary" UAT phase to focus on specific elements of functionality in the system.  Somebody asked the project manager what we're going to call this new phase of UAT so we won't confuse it with the plain-old-generic-run-of-the-mill UAT.  The project manager turned to me for assistance.  There are times the "mischief gene" in my brain works overtime, and unfortunately this was one of those times.

"Why don't we call it 'Subject Quality User Acceptance Testing'?" I asked innocently, and before he could think it through, the project manager wrote the new acronym SQUAT on the board.  And it has stuck.  Now we have people asking questions like "Who's working on SQUAT around here?" and "When are we going to do SQUAT on this project?"

Hey!  If you're not having fun on your project, you're not doing it right.

Technorati Tags: Acronyms, Lingo, Project Management, User Acceptance Testing, Testing, Communication, Fun

Out of the Mouths of Babes

When my older daughter was not quite three, I was giving her a bath before we headed off to church one Sunday morning.  In the midst of bubbles and squeaky toys, she announced to me that she would be wearing a dress to church that day.  I confirmed her fashion aspirations, to which she added, "Mommy is wearing a dress to church, too."  Not really sure where this wardrobe-inspired conversation was headed, I replied that I thought her forecast was correct.  Then with extreme scrutiny, she eyed me over and simply summarized, "Daddy, you don't have the legs for a dress."

And there it was, the stinging truth about my body from my daughter.  Most two-year-olds would make an innocent generalization that daddies don't wear dresses.  Mine felt the urge to add color commentary.  It's one of those funny stories that lives in the folklore of our family now, but it brings up some great points about providing feedback.

In many of our jobs, providing (and receiving) feedback in a professional manner is critical to our relationships, to our progress, and to the spirit of Carpe Factum.  I've learned some lessons (some of them the hard way) about the do's and don't's of providing feedback.  Really, all you have to do in providing feedback is remember the acronym THIRD.  Ask yourself the following:

1. Is your feedback TIMELY?  If you cannot provide feedback to a colleague in a timely fashion, then you are robbing them of opportunities to make course corrections and fix things.  Some of the biggest corporate criminals are those who hoard feedback about an employee and dump it all on them once a year in that sadly comical event known as the "annual performance review."  Feedback has a shelf life, and the sooner you can tell the person what s/he did right or wrong, the stronger the message will be.  Still, there is a time and a place for providing feedback, and if you can tell that the person is not in the right mindset to hear what you have to say, consider holding off a while.
2. Is your feedback HONEST?  There's a fine line balancing tact and forthrightness.  I've seen managers water down feedback to the point where the original message is totally lost... because they do not want to upset the other person.  Certainly, there are people whom I must handle with "kid gloves" because of their sensitivity, but I try to ensure the message gets through.
3. Is your feedback IMPROVING?  Does your message provide constructive criticism or are you only trying to hurt the other person and make them feel bad?  In twelve years of teaching college courses, I've only had one course review that I considered just ugly.  Don't get me wrong, there have been students throughout who have not liked some aspect of the course or my teaching and have provided suggestions on how to improve.  This one was a purely personal attack on me and my family (they even included my dog... how "witch of the west"), and they ended by saying they didn't learn a thing about management.  How sad for them... and for the people they'll work with.  Provide feedback in the spirit of improvement... not for tearing down.
4. Is your feedback RELEVANT?  I've seen laughable feedback provided to people that has no meaning to the bottom line or to their personal values.  My first job out of college was with a major insurance company.  If they did not like an individual, supervisors were coached to fabricate "areas of improvement."  One woman in my group of new employees shared that her supervisor dinged her for making her checkmarks backwards.  Is the individual going to care about your feedback?  If not, maybe you should keep your feedback to yourself.
5. Is your feedback DIRECT?  Few things irritate me more than hearing, "Some people came to me and asked me to share some things with you...."  Anonymous lynch mobs have no room in our professional settings.  While there are avenues for providing anonymous feedback (class evaluations, for one), playing the game of telephone to provide feedback robs the receiver of context, and it undermines relationships.  When I provide feedback, there are times I must decide if it's going to be one-on-one or if other people need to be involved.  Urgency and the role of the others are factors in deciding how to approach this delicate issue.

So there you have it... bump up the quality of your feedback by a THIRD.  We'll all be happier in the long run.  Now... about my legs...

Technorati Tags: feedback, performance evaluations, carpe factum, communication

The Czech's in the Male

Once in London, during one of the many rides on the Underground, my wife and I sat across from a young man and a young woman.  Based on their body language, these two were completely unacquainted with each other.  He appeared to be very studious, his nose buried in a book.  She seemed to be a little more vivacious, and she was carrying a sign which she appeared to be transporting to her destination.  The sign simply said, "Czech Dance Party" with a large arrow... pointed directly at her neighboring bookworm.  I had to chuckle at her unintended communication toward her subway buddy.

It reminded me of a project from a few years ago.  One component of the project was sending out letters to claimants, and the process was horribly messed up.  All mailings were halted because of complaints from the claimants about the content and timing of the correspondence, and the letters were piling up all around the mail room department.  One day after the crisis was supposedly fixed, the program manager was touring the department and told the mail room supervisor to "get rid of these letters."  His intent was that they be destroyed.  Her interpretation was that it was OK to mail them all.  And a new tidal wave of complaints and headaches ensued.

Just a good lesson to be very clear about what we communicate.  David Lorenzo of Career Intensity had a great post about a month ago, referencing an article in Fortune about unintended communication from job applicants on their resumes.  Miscommunications can happen in many ways, and it almost always leads to fingerpointing about who said what and who misunderstood.  Keep in mind that 70-90% of a project manager's time should be spent in communication.  Over the years, I've learned how to re-read and re-re-read my emails before hitting the send button.  After twelve years of marriage, I'm still learning how to communicate effectively with my spouse.

At least I've not unintentionally directed anyone to book-minded individuals for an Eastern European celebration.  That's progress, I suppose.

Technorati Tags: Czech Dance, Communication, Misunderstanding, David Lorenzo, Career Intensity, Fortune Magazine

Wireless Wow

OK, I've been a Linksys guy since I (finally) started going wireless two years ago, and I noticed that my laptop still wasn't picking up signals in places that other people were.  This weekend, I picked up the Netgear Wireless USB Adapter and YOWZA!!!  I have connectivity coming out my ears.  Speed and range are both improved dramatically.  For all you project managers out there relying on wireless connectivity for your livelihood, here's an unpaid, unsolicited testimonial.  Go Netgear.  Sorry Linksys... dust must not taste very good.

Technorati Tags: linksys, netgear, wireless, connectivity

What Your Project Team Isn't Telling You

The Des Moines Business Record recently published my op/ed piece, entitled "What Your Project Team Isn't Telling You."  Enjoy the article.  I led a 3-hour workshop on this topic last November, and will be giving a 1-hour keynote on this same topic this September.  It's interesting to consider the difference between what we hear and what's being said.  It also ties in well with the message of Race Through The Forest.

Technorati Tags: des moines, business record, race through the forest, project management, communication

You Talkin' To Me?

A funny thing happened on the way to the Blogosphere...

Actually, two things happened last week which hit my blogging radar screen.  I'm still relatively new to this "throw your thoughts and opinions onto the internet and let somebody else react to them" thing.  So when I get interesting reactions to my blog entries, it arouses my curiosity.  I'm also amused by the way others express their pleasure or concern at various blog entries (either through email or through direct blog comments).  Anyway, here's what happened:

1. Somebody from a former client emailed me and specifically asked if one of my blog entries was about them.  Seems one of my entries hit a little too close to home.
2. I received a comment from another blogger asking if I were psychic because I always seem to know what that person needs to hear on that particular day.  (sigh... if only...)

The lesson gleaned from those two experiences is that blog entries are like any other form of media (from books to tv, from newspapers to podcasts).  We're going to filter the heck out of the inputs and take only what we perceive to be relevant.  So if you have to ask if I'm talking specifically to you or about you, the answer is yes... and no.  Yes, because obviously my words hit your radar screen and made you react (positively or negatively).  No, because I write about a vast array of experiences that may or may not be about you (for some people, refuting their "it's all about me" mindset can be earth shattering).

The trick to not seeing yourself on the pages of this blog is not to do anything noteworthily stupid or amazingly brilliant around me or my friends (we do actually TALK to each other about you, after all)... but then what would be the fun of living (for you or for me)?  I view the blogosphere as my personal "kids say the darnedest things" outlet, and I get to be Art Linkletter for a brief essay every few days.

My sensei black belt blog master, Mike Sansone, had a great post the other day about a potential blogger who wouldn't know what to say.  Heck... we all have stuff to write about (unless, maybe, you're comatose).  Fellow author and Drake colleague, Delaney Kirk, brought up a great blog site that professors can use to comment on troublesome students (students already have one of their own).  The stories, insights, opinions, and reactions are all around us.  And if you just don't want to be a blogger, at least keep up your normal behaviors so the rest of us will have some great blogging material to keep us occupied with our writing, OK?

Technorati Tags: blogging, reactions, de niro, mike sansone, converstations, delaney kirk, communication filters

What's up .doc ?

"A little bunny rabbit of my very own!!  I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him and hold him and call him George." -Abominable Snowman

As a project manager, one of the frustrations I have is attempting to find a needed document at the right time.  When you have 100 people on a project team, you have 1,000,000 different naming conventions for any given file.  The most commonly asked question I hear in project meetings is "What did you name that file again???"

Generally speaking, I've found some simple naming conventions for files which have worked for me for years:

1. Start each file with YYYYMMDD (Year Month Day).  Since today is April 27, any files I create today will start with 20060427 File Name.ext.  This allows me to link file management with my planner and facilitates the timing of file creation as well as version control over multiple days.
2. Name each file intuitively and completely.  So many people are stuck on the old 8 character microsoft naming conventions.  If this person creates a test plan for user acceptance testing for the manufacturing division, the file name may look like TSPLUATM.doc.  GRRRRRRRR.  Don't make the rest of us interpret your short hand.  20060427 Manufacturing User Acceptance Test Plan.doc is preferred.
3. Use folders and directories to group the files in an organized fashion that makes sense.  Don't use a single folder or directory that becomes a community information dumping ground.
4. Establish these standards NO LATER THAN the completion of the planning phase.  Your team will thank you.

Just some thoughts during the middle of the week.

Technorati Tags: project management, documentation, standards

Them Does Real Good

My wife and I always went to Missouri over the Independence Day holiday to visit her grandmother.  While Grandma Miller was lively and entertaining enough, one of the side benefits of the visit was that fireworks are legal in Missouri (they are not in Iowa, however).  On the way to Grandma's house, a stop to a local fireworks stand was inevitable.  On one particular visit, I was curious about the performance of a particular explosive and decided to ask the shopkeeper his opinion.  (For those of you who are currently nervous about the thought of a project manager playing with fire, be afraid.  Be very afraid.)  I held up the firework in question and asked about lighting effects, noise, etc.  His response:  "Them does real good."  When he was out of earshot, I turned to my wife, the English teacher, and asked, "How does one go 0-for-4 on a 4-word sentence?"

Truly, I'm not a grammar cop.  I make occasional errors (trying to correct them before they become public, but not always successfully).  Nevertheless, how we communicate is as important as (in many cases, more than) what we communicate.  Grammar, spelling, punctuation, and word choice speak volumes about you... and me.  Mike Wagner is an expert on branding for companies, but his principles apply to individuals as well.  Your communication skills mark your invitation, relevance, and truth to the receivers.  David Lorenzo is an expert in career intensity and managing the image that professionals convey to those around them.  Mark True is an expert in personal story telling, ensuring that every element of your identity conveys your personal and/or professional story correctly.

It astounds me that there are so-called professionals that have trouble framing a simple sentence, that there are project managers for whom English must be a second language (but I'm left dumbfounded to figure out what their first language might be), that there are colleagues who truly have English as a second language who communicate infinitely better than "the natives."

I was once on a project with a self-proclaimed-well-educated-better-than-you-could-ever-hope-to-be project manager, but in speaking and in presentations, he kept referring to "project governess" (he meant to say, project governance).  Instead of his conveying the idea of best practices and standard operating procedures, I kept getting this image of Mary Poppins with an Uzi and an Arnold Schwarzenegger accent.  It made me giggle (inside voice only), but it also cost him "street cred."  And when a project manager loses credibility, watch out.

Thoughts for the day:  How can you improve your project communications to others?  Are people commenting about your grammar and spelling behind your back?  Do you have a trusted colleague who can coach you and assist you and proofread your deliverables?  Is your Carpe Factum being undermined by poor communication skills?

Technorati Tags: Project Communication, grammar, Mike Wagner, David Lorenzo, Mark True, Mary Poppins, Personal Branding