Life's A Fitch: A Lesson in the Birds and the Bees

Today, it is man against nature.

This week, robins followed the number one rule of real estate (Location! Location! Location!) and believed the top of my garage door opener would be the optimal spot to go condo. The problem with their logic is I like my garage door opener in working order, and I do not want bird poop on my cars IN the garage. Hence, I shut the garage door when they were gone, checked to ensure no eggs had been laid, and promptly dismantled their home renovation project. And they came back. And I dismantled. And they came back. And I dismantled. They don't seem to be getting the fact I don't want them.

Concurrently, bees have been making a home near my daughters' swingset in the back yard. Now I'm well aware of the bee crisis, but with a swingset out of commission, my kids might do the unthinkable: stay indoors and bury their heads in electronic devices. Against my ecological best judgment, I went to Home Depot to purchase spray to evict the bees. The clerk seemed aghast I would consider doing such a thing. She suggested I contact a bee keeper to find the hive and eradicate the bees naturally.

"Do you have the name of a local bee keeper?" I asked.

"Well, no," was her response.

"If I give you my address, will you do the phone research and call around and find one and get them there tomorrow?" I countered.

"I can't do that, sir."

"I'll take the spray."

She shrugged as I grabbed two cans and skulked off toward the cash register.

To top off my week, I've been appalled by Abercrombie & Fitch's CEO Michael Jeffies' comments about marketing to skinny people only. As the father of two growing young women, I go out of my way to impress upon them that their identity is not about body image, and that beauty is more on the inside than the outside.

But then I started connecting the dots. Michael and I are both guilty of excluding a group who want to be part of our "club." The difference is, the birds and the bees operate under instinct; humans operate with feelings and emotions. And the birds and the bees don't have money to spend on rent; people have money to spend on clothing.

There will always be "target markets" in business. Conversely, there will always be "undesirable customers." We'll never be rid of the difficult client whose calls go unanswered and whose emails sit dormant because we just don't have the energy to deal with them. (Don't gasp; you know you do it, too.) The taboo "birds and bees" of business marketing is you NEVER specifically call out those you are excluding. In project management, we list our stakeholders, but we never say, "Oh, yeah, we're NOT doing this project for those bean counters and pencil pushers in Accounting." Your accomplishments will always get further in the positive. If your business is going to "reproduce," ignoring the birds and the bees will be a huge mistake. Acknowledge them. Deal with them. Give them alternatives. But (and I say this with experience of one who has now been chased by both birds and bees in one week) don't piss them off. I'm grateful Mother Nature doesn't have a Twitter account.

One solution would have been to pump that hideously toxic Abercrombie & Fitch "fragrance" all over the garage and the swingset, thereby killing the entire environment for a 50-mile radius.

Alas...

The robins have now found an alternative spot on my property for their nest. They can stay there. And I'll probably call around for bee keepers next week, even though I don't have time. After all, I'd like to think I'm at least one step ahead of Michael Jeffries.

They're Coming To Get You...

It's Halloween night and I'm home writing a blog post. No costume. No party. No November 1st regrets.

I've been thinking a lot about zombies recently. No, that's not a reflection on my current client or current group of students... probably just the "spirit of the holidays," as it were.

Of course, the benchmark for zombie flicks is "Night of the Living Dead." The great thing about horror movies is, if it's good enough, they'll do a remake. George Romero's 1968 flick was the ground-breaker, but the 1990 remake has its merits, too. Both start out with brother and sister visiting a cemetery, only to be accosted by zombies. Johnny, the obnoxious brother, is the first to reanimate to the walking dead, after taunting his sister Barbra (spelled Barbara for the 1990 version) with "They're coming to get you." Ah, the irony. (OK, now I'm getting hungry for Zombie Burger.)

Here's the interesting divergence in the two movies (SPOILER ALERT). In both Barb(a)ra hides with a group in a farm house until the bitter end. In the 1968 version, though, Barbra is a catatonic victim, drifting through the film up to the point of becoming the final undead buffet. The 1990 Barbara won't stand for that. She takes charge and takes names, and is the only farmhouse survivor.

For those of us who have to dwell among the "Working Dead," we get to see zombies in their most real form. A few years ago, I went to work as a contractor for a company where I had been employed for many years. After being out among the living for so long, I realized how zombified the organization really was. Most who were there were like the 1968 Barbra, fatefully awaiting their acclimation to the other zombies. I, on the other hand, after seeing their grotesque dysfunctionality, likened myself to the 1990 Barbara and engineered my exit (letting them think it was their idea - zombies are pretty easy to trick).

How do you approach the zombies around you? Do you just shrug and accept your fate of becoming one of them, or do you fight for your own personal survival, "leaving the farmhouse" if necessary to seek safer ground away from the undead?

If you're faced with a workplace of the undead and you've not yet joined them, what are you doing to plan your escape? Better think fast. We'll hope you survive till "morning."

Guess Who's Thumbing the Winner?

Sigh.

I like to maintain a baseline level of confidence in society.

I like to think that people - at their core - have qualities that benefit others.

I like to believe that all bosses are inherently good... kind of like Luke Skywalker believed there was still good in Darth Vader.

The problem is that Luke Skywalker was right.

This story comes from Eastern Iowa. William Ernst, owner of the QC Mart chain, decided to make a game of firing employees. A judge ruled against him on his little game, stating that he created a hostile work environment, for releasing this memo last spring:

New Contest – Guess The Next Cashier Who Will Be Fired!!!

To win our game, write on a piece of paper the name of the next cashier you believe will be fired. Write their name [the person who will be fired], today's date, today's time, and your name. Seal it in an envelope and give it to the manager to put in my envelope.

"Here's how the game will work: We are doubling our secret-shopper efforts, and your store will be visited during the day and at night several times a week. Secret shoppers will be looking for cashiers wearing a hat, talking on a cell phone, not wearing a QC Mart shirt, having someone hanging around/behind the counter, and/or a personal car parked by the pumps after 7 p.m., among other things.

"If the name in your envelope has the right answer, you will win $10 CASH. Only one winner per firing unless there are multiple right answers with the exact same name, date, and time. Once we fire the person, we will open all the envelopes, award the prize, and start the contest again.

"And no fair picking Mike Miller from (the Rockingham Road store). He was fired at around 11:30 a.m. today for wearing a hat and talking on his cell phone. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!"

(Poor Mike Miller of the Rockingham Road Store.)

One of the questions I generally field as an office politics advisor is: "What happens when it's the boss/leader/owner/authority figure who is exhibiting the bad behavior?"

My answer is generally the same: YOU are still in control of your reaction. YOU can choose to leave. YOU can choose to talk back. YOU can choose not to engage. Or, in their case, YOU can choose to hire a lawyer and fight. Yes, there are consequences to YOUR actions, but the empowering thing is... they're YOUR actions.

We had a situation at a soccer game a couple of weeks back. A child was obviously injured on the field (and this is not my first rodeo, folks... I know the difference between a "shake it off" injury and a "everybody grab a knee" injury). The parents were trying to call the ref's attention to the injured child, and instead of stopping the game to check on her welfare, he opted for yelling at the parents, screaming at him that he knew the rules, and antagonizing instead of managing the situation. Worse yet was the league's decision to side with him without doing adequate investigation into the matter. The parents did what they could; they backed down to his irrational behavior at the game and then reported the referee to the league afterwards. Will this ref ever have a bearing on their lives long-term? No. He was just a man who cared more about his injured ego than an injured child. But the bottom line is this: the parents took the actions that were within their power.

I've dealt with many a bad boss in the course of my career. Nowadays such a person is just fodder for future writing. Nevertheless, it's taken time to learn how to finesse the situation when in the heat of battle. I congratulate those convenience store employees for taking decisive action against their boss. It took courage, no doubt. We'll hope he can learn from the situation.

Remember: when dealing with an ill-minded and/or ill-behaving authority figure, YOU are still in control of YOUR reactions. Never, EVER forget that.

HR Is Neither Human, Nor Are They a Resource

OK, I'm going to have every single SHRM member down my throat if I don't explain my title pretty quickly.

I'm quickly becoming a fan of workplacebullying.org - an outstanding resource for those who are dealing with the extreme of office politics known as workplace bullying.  I take a vested interest in this topic because I was a target of bullying my first job out of college.  Both of the bullies eventually "met their waterloo" and I've been able to observe their roller-coaster careers with interest.  Both have zero credibility with those who now work with them, and those who formerly worked with and for them have extremely unfavorable things to say about them.

Regardless of my own past, I've found this site to be thought-provoking and articulate, especially with a recent post on HR's role in dealing with office politics.  In my afore-mentioned experience, I reached out to HR, who was not only unwilling to help me, but reported my issues to the superiors who were bullying me, just adding fuel to the fire.

A lot has changed in 20 years of evolving organizations... or has it?  Is Human Resources part of the solution or the problem?  After reading two sides of the argument and the corresponding comments, what do you think?  What positions have you observed from HR?  Do they assist with bullying or alleviate it?

Dwarfing Leadership

Once upon a time, Dopey and Grumpy were promoted to managers.  Dopey was in over his head, and Grumpy yelled at everyone.  And nobody lived happily ever after.  The end.

Not much of a plot, eh?

How about if we make it more interesting... say... we genetically fuse Dopey and Grumpy.  That's what the folks at University of California Berkeley have done in their recently released study.  They've discovered that bosses who perceive themselves as inadequate or incompetent are far more likely to bully (and even sabotage) their subordinates.

Kind of explains the Bush-Cheney administration, doesn't it?  (Yeah, yeah, I know... one of the ironies of being a Republican who can view things objectively.)

According to the study, over a third of American workers have been bullied.  I've seen some of the ugliest bullies on the planet in my career, and my work with Office-Politics.com exposes me to worse ones than my imagination could conjure up.

So what do we do about all of this?  Do we suck up to our bosses to make them feel better about themselves?  Well, there is something to helping another individual maintain a modicum of self-esteem.  But what if the boss is just your basic WUHOT?  You can try to help him or her look good... to a point.  You can watch the floundering and even try to expedite the inevitable, but that only makes people miserable in the interim.  You definitely should document every exchange you have with this boss.

Have you ever had an incompetent boss?  What did you do to manage upward?

Monsters Are Such Interesting People

So, why are monsters interesting?  Why do we seem to view the workplace monsters with fascination rather than disgust?  Why do we continue to tolerate - and in some cases, celebrate - our monsters (bullies and jerks) with such reckless abandon?

My thoughts:

1. Workplace monsters fascinate us because they're able to get away with it.  They buck social norms and make off like bandits.  And they're seemingly never scolded for their bad behaviors.
2. Workplace monsters are interesting because they carry a stronger brand.  If strong brands are either really loved (by upper management) or really hated (be peers and subordinates), then monsters fit the bill.
3. Workplace monsters get our attention because - as Sun Tzu advised - we should "keep our friends close; our enemies, closer."  Whether it's to avoid them or just keep tabs on them, we know that it's wise to keep monsters on the radar screen.

And, as Bugs observed, monsters really are "such interesting people."  Who are your monsters, and why do they interest you?

The Bullied Organization

I  had a chance to chat with blog buddy GL Hoffman (of Jobdig fame) recently.  I've been talking a lot about workplace bullying recently, and since he's in the business of placing people in jobs, his opinions and observations seem perfect for finding out about companies where bullying runs rampant.

CF:  In what kinds of organizations do you see more bullying?

GL:  I think organizations that MAY be more prone, and this is generalizing a lot here, would be male and those organizations that are more locker-room oriented (language-wise, comparison with one another, etc.)

CF:  Are there certain industries or kinds of companies where you've seen these behaviors?

GL:  Maybe sales organizations.  They tend to bully those who can't keep up.

CF:  We've both seen leaders drive the culture of the company.  In looking at the culture, what are some of red flags for identifying a bullying organization?

GL:  Biggest characteristic would be a lack of respect throughout the company, from the smallest detail to the biggest.  And that would be the focus of my attempts at "fixing" the environment.

CF:  If you are dealing with a bullying organization, how do you approach prospective job placement applicants?

GL:  I think I would make sure my candidate is tougher, more thick skinned, and very self assured.

Thanks, GL, for shedding some light on this tough subject, and you are right:  it's very hard to generalize since each company is different.  It's obvious your insights and experience are pretty valuable in this field.  From my observations, besides sales organizations (which focus on fast-paced results), I've also seen companies on the opposite end of the spectrum (low accountability and unpredicatable results) succeed in bullying as well.  Their employees just seem to have more time on their hands to get caught up in drama and think about these kinds of games.

So... what are YOUR observations about companies where "free range bullying" is allowed and encouraged?

Soft and Cuddly... Like Sandpaper

Springboarding from my last post, let's keep talking about bullies.  Since half of the workplace is aware of them or targeted by them, it would be a good idea to dissect bullies a little bit.

This is a topic that makes people uncomfortable, because it is difficult to monitor and fix.  Many employers would rather turn a blind eye to the problem.  However, what that approach causes is absenteeism and turnover.  Last week, Personnel Today's blog nailed the issue:

"You are never going to be able to totally eradicate bullying, but if employers can admit that bullying does go on, then we are going to congratulate them for coming forward - it's not about blaming anyone. We're not going to throw rocks at you, but it makes absoslute sense for employers to understand what is deemed acceptable behaviour in the workplace and what is not."

So, what is deemed acceptable behavior?  How do we identify the activities that constitute bullying?  According to Laurie Pawlik-Keinlen at Suite 101, we define bullying as "verbal abuse, threatening or humiliating behavior, or work sabotage.... Bullying at work is mostly psychological bullying, and includes excluding coworkers from lunches or after-hours get-togethers and spreading lies or gossip."  There is a significant intimidation factor, and perception is the key political game ball.  While all bullying plays off of power, workplace bullying emphasizes the perception of power, and the bully over-emphasizes these perceptions through innuendo or direct intimidation.  The bully also plays off of divide-and-conquer.  The bully strives to go after the weakest of the herd, and successfully singles out potential targets.

For those who have ever been the targets of bullies, my empathy to you.  My first boss out of college was a bully.  I hated going to work, but then I learned how to begin documenting the events.  When I presented the fact that I had been documenting to management (who had, up until that point, sided with the bully), I was suddenly moved to a different supervisor and my workplace experience improved tremendously.  For years following, though, I experienced residual stress every time a manager wanted to have any kind of one-on-one communication with me.  I had let it go on far too long.

Laurie's article also includes some quick tips for dealing with bullies:

Be aware of state or provincial legislations against workplace bullying

Check for stated policy violations

Take time off

Talk to your employer

Formally report the incident(s) with dates and specific behaviors

Nobody needs to remain a target (note, I do not use the word "victim") of a bully.  Next post, we'll cover some of the employment environment issues.

Image from Despair.com

Well, Bully For You

Ouch!

According to a recent Zogby Poll, 49% of American workers have either been witness to or targets of workplace bullying.  Half of us!  This problem is getting interesting... and scary.  It must be a very "silent epidemic" (the article's words, not mine) since 45% claim never to have seen or experienced bullying.  That means we're divided down the middle on this one, since people who fall into the latter group are often scratching their heads about the other half.

I'm not going to dwell on the statistics, although they are fascinating.  I'm growing more and more curious about this from an organizational perspective.  Why do companies allow it?  Is there any recourse for somebody who is a target of a workplace bully?  What kinds of organizations are prone to bullying?

These are some of the questions I hope to answer in the coming posts.  I've worked in many types and sizes of organizations over the past two decades.  Here in Des Moines, there are very pleasant places to work, and there are companies where bullying runs rampant.  There are a couple of the "big box" employers in particular where I know that this problem is a very visible and long-standing part of the culture (as I'm sure there are in other towns across the globe).  When I have a friend or a student who is considering employment at one of these companies, I gently steer them to other alternatives.  And I refuse to contract there, regardless of project or rate.

What about you?  Do you perceive workplace bullying to be a problem?  Why or why not?