How To Create a New Year's Resolution Carpe Factum Style

Wow... having a week off from blogging on this site has been a great break to spend with family and close out some year-end business activities, but I needed to close out the year with some final thoughts.  Now is the time when people are going to be making New Year's Resolutions... those happy little goals they think will help them have a better 2008.  Most will be broken by January 2nd.

If you are serious about goal setting for the next twelve months, let's sit down and do this the right way, OK?

1. Do an honest self-assessment of where you are right now... what is going wrong, what is going right, what needs to stay, what needs to be hurled out the window.  Making any type of goal or resolution isn't going to do you any good if you don't honestly assess your perception of the status quo.
2. Take ownership of what you can change.  Getting along better with your family may be a great resolution unless you are related to a bunch of dysfunctional sociopaths.  About the only thing you can resolve to do in that case is a) tune them out; b) avoid them; c) drink heavil before family gatherings (not really recommended).  If you are going to change something in 2008, make sure it's something you can change.
3. Address problems and opportunities, not symptoms.  Saying that you want to begin arriving on time to things is great (I love punctuality); however, if that is merely a symptom for your lack of organization or an issue with holding yourself accountable, then you may be solving the wrong problem.
4. Know your core values.  I create at least one specific goal for each area of my life:  faith, relationships, business, self.  If you are very family-oriented, making goals about working long hours at the office to move ahead may just end up making you (and those around you) very miserable.  This will also gauge your passion that it will take to reach the goal.
5. Have a specific "deliverable" in mind.  What is something tangible (and achievable) that will tell you that you've arrive?  The popular resolutions are losing weight (or getting fit) and getting organized.  How about saying that you will reach your target weight of 200, or that you will be able to park both cars in the garage?  A law enforcement friend gave me the physical requirements to get onto the police force, so I'm using those as my fitness goals for the year (and can I just say that push-ups and sit-ups suck royally).
6. Identify roadblocks and develop a plan to deal with them.  Do you have naysayer friends who shoot you down?  Are there office politics standing in your way?  Do you need to take classes to get educated to meet your goal?  Identify and obtain the resources needed to help you overcome your roadblocks.
7. Find cheerleading accountability partners.  You will want people who will ask you the tough questions and then (gently) bust your chops if you are not giving the right answers.  You want these same people to cheer you on in your quest to meet your goals, those who will celebrate with you when you arrive.

So... when the ball drops, the champagne glasses clink, and the kiss of the new year has been given, you will be ready to face your New Year's Resolution with New Energy... and I wish you all the best as you "seize the accomplishment" in 2008!

One Bright Star

Happy Holidays from your friends at Carpe Factum, Inc.

May your holiday accomplishments include friends, family, peace, tranquility, love, laughter, and hugs.

May your new year be guided by a star, leading you to your significant accomplishments yet to come.

Merry Christmas!

Reindeer Games

My good friend (and dance-partner, but that's another story), Glenda Watson-Hyatt, just wrote a magnificent post on her blog about Rudolph The Rednose Reindeer.  Her point was on valuing diversity, and she poignantly demonstrated how important it is to recognize and embrace those who are different from us, because you never know when there's going to be a foggy Christmas Eve and their unique skills will be needed... and no, you can't outsource reindeer to India... doesn't work that way.  Glenda speaks from the heart, and her own story glows so brightly that it could pull Santa's sleigh single-handedly.

I want to take Glenda's post one step further to a critical situation I see happening all too often.  No, it's not about the value of finding a good dentist, although Herbie the Elf plays a critical role in this issue.  And no, it's not that "bumbles bounce," despite Yukon Cornelius' role in saving the day.  The key point that I wish more people would take from this story is that if you're going to dare to be different, it really helps to have other allies watching your back.

Think about it... how many of your office politics situations have gotten out of hand because you've been the "lone voice crying in the wilderness"?  As office politicians (and we're ALL office politicians if we regularly work with at least one other individual), it is imperitive that we do adequate stakeholder analysis of our situation.  How do people feel about us personally?  How do they feel about the plans and goals we're trying to elevate?  Do you have adequate support against the Abominable Snowmen of your office?  What about other snooty reindeer?

If you're standing alone, bright nose or not, maybe it's time to think about building some alliances in the office to keep your backside covered.  Who knows?  Maybe you'll go down in history (in a good way, we hope).

Dear Santa

Dear Santa...

Because of your age and my size, we'll skip the whole "sitting on the lap thing" and just cut to the letter.

I've been a very moderately tolerably good boy this year.  My list is going to be pretty simple:  equilibrium.  Let me explain, Santa.  I've been doing a lot of research about systems thinking for my next book, and I'm finding that balance is sort of a crock.  Balance is what we try to do... equilibrium is what we try to achieve.  It's because we're so out of balance in our lives that we can't attain equilibrium; we keep swinging the pendulum too far in the opposite direction.  So, given that clarification, here's what I'd like, Santa, for my family this year:

• Relationships - maintain the positive relationships in our lives, heal the ones that need a little nudge, bring us new ones that will be mutually beneficial, and remove those harmful ones that cannot be salvaged.
• Health - keep us healthy enough that we can get through all of life's challenges without much difficulty, but a couple of small bumps to make us grateful for our health.
• Finances - continue to give us enough to meet our needs and help others, but not so much that we lose sight of what's really important in life.
• Priorities - let us manage the time bank we're given with grace and style, focusing on the important relationships and tasks, and having the time to recharge our batteries appropriately.
• Outlook - I tell my clients and students that "if you're not having fun, you're not doing it right" so help us see fun in the otherwise mundane, and if there is absolutely no fun to be found (or made), get us the heck away from it.
• Ambition - let us stretch for what we can and should attain, be appropriately content with what we have attained, and avoid complacency with what should never be good enough.

That ought to do it, big guy.  This has been a year where I've really seen what equilibrium looks like, and I've really liked it.

We'll leave milk and cookies by the tree (try not to leave crumbs, or the wife will make me vacuum them up).

Fly safe,

Tim

P.S.  Of course, a spot on the New York Times Best Seller List and/or a new Harley would be highly appreciated, but certainly not required.

Angles We Have Heard On High

¹Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the East to Jerusalem, ²saying, "Where is He that is born King of the Jews? For we have seen His star in the East and have come to worship Him."  ³When Herod the king had heard these things, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him.  ⁴And when he had gathered all the chief priests and scribes of the people together, he demanded of them where Christ should be born.

⁷Then Herod, when he had privily called the wise men, inquired of them diligently what time the star appeared.  ⁸And he sent them to Bethlehem and said, "Go and search diligently for the young child, and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also."  ⁹When they had heard the king, they departed; and lo, the star which they saw in the East went before them until it came and stood over where the young Child was.  ¹⁰When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy.  ¹¹And when they had come into the house, they saw the young Child with Mary His mother, and fell down and worshiped Him. And when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto Him gifts: gold and frankincense and myrrh.  ¹²And being warned by God in a dream that they should not return to Herod, they departed into their own country another way.

¹⁶Then Herod, when he saw that he was mocked by the wise men, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth and slew all the children who were in Bethlehem and in all the region thereof, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had diligently inquired of the wise men.  (Matthew 2, selected passages, 21st Century King James Version)

OK, here's an interesting question for you:  when is it moral to play office politics?  Is it ever justifiable to lie to somebody?  To withhold information?  To mislead?  To spin doctor?

Never?  What about the Wise Men in the Christmas story?  It sounds as though they had agreed to bring Herod the information he requested, and it was a warning that directed them not to follow through.

I was leading a workshop this fall where one of my participants shared the story of a secretary who was assigned to work for an absolute tyrant.  Very methodically, she undermined and sabotaged his work until he was let go from the company, then she went back to being the same sweet, caring, thoughtful person she was before.  Was this sabotage out of character for her, or was she playing "bear politics" for the greater good of her organization?

Granted, it's hard to have office politics back in a time when cubicles had not yet been invented... tent politics, maybe?  Or camel politics?  Regardless, getting back to the point, can a seemingly moral person play office politics and keep their morality in check?  Is there ever an acceptable angle to justify certain behaviors?

Your Muse Is Holding On Line One

I'm just thinking about stuff....

I've been struggling over my third book for months.  I've done all of the writers-block-breaking exercises and activities I can think of.  I've put the book away for a while, hoping to come back to it refreshed.  I've given myself creative space to work on it.  I've immersed myself in the fun aspects of the topic I'm researching.  Nothing.  Well, nothing except a lot of false starts.

Now that I have a mountain of grading to do for the semester, the creative juices are flowing... gushing, actually.  But I don't have time!  My students are patiently waiting for their grades... they've worked hard on their assignments and papers, and they want my feedback.  Some of them are waiting on tuition reimbursement from their employers.  I have a duty and obligation to be timely...

Still...

The siren call of creativity is now waiting... beckoning... tempting... seducing.  If I ignore it, who knows when it may come back?

What's a guy to do?

DUH-cisions

"Nobody can make me feel inferior without my consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

There's a lot of great discussion going on right now about how we react to each other.  Peace on earth?  Nope.  Good will towards men?  Um, not so much.  No, I'm not really that cynical, although I have been hearing snatches about shoppers rage recently (my heart still goes out to the innocent victims in Omaha and other shooting events who were in the wrong place at the wrong time).

But what about how we respond and react to each other on a day-to-day basis under seemlingly normal circumstances?  Certainly all of our conversations cannot be happy little ego-strokings.  Sometimes we have to have difficult conversations.  Sometimes we disagree.  Sometimes we make boneheaded comments.  Sometimes we have to say "no."

But how do we react when others initiate ill-fated communication?  Liz Strauss had a beautiful post today about responses.  I saw it after following (and contributing to) an amazing string of conversation on April Groves' blog.  In both cases, it would appear that we ourselves own the reaction, even though we don't always own the catalyst.

What is the best strategy to use when somebody makes a comment we don't like or appreciate?  Count to ten?  Deep breaths?  Mentally write their obituary?  What do you think?

No Egrets

Well, the fall semester is done (except for a huge mountain of grading, that is).  Last Saturday, my project management students made their presentations to the Blank Park Zoo.  They had to develop a business case and a project plan for projects encompassing expansion, membership, education, and food service.

It was so rewarding to watch them present.  It wasn't just that they were learning the skills for which a project manager is accountable.  It wasn't that they learned how to manage a portfolio of projects by communicating with each other across project teams.  It wasn't that they dressed up in their professional best on a Saturday morning to make an excellent impression on the zoo's CEO.  It wasn't that their Powerpoints were effective or that their deliverables were useful.  It went beyond all of that.  My students did something to help the community... to give back... to make Des Moines a better place to live.  Project management went beyond theory; it became real.

Sometimes MBA programs are accused of being too entrenched in theory and not enough practice.  Not in my classroom.  I know that, realistically, my students may retain about 5% of what I say years down the road... if even that.  What they'll remember is that they made a difference the past three months.

And isn't that what real education is all about anyway?

(And yes, there are egrets at the zoo.  The pun was too good to pass up.)

What's Your Happy Fun Ball?

Remember this little sketch from SNL?

Where does one strike a balance of communicating potential risks to alert stakeholders and going overboard to the point of being labeled Chicken Little?  Project risk management is challenging.  We try to educate people about what can go wrong, and sometimes the messenger gets shot.

I've found the following criteria (and some relevant links) for analyzing and communicating risks and issues:

• Does/should management care about it?
• Does management need to take action on it?
• Can/will it cause irreparable harm to the company or its customers if not mitigated or avoided?
• Will I get fired if management gets blindsided by this later?
• Is there a high probability of the risk event occurring?
• Is the risk just too great to pursue?
• Do I need to cover my backside by documenting it (reality check)?

So, what is your happy fun ball?  How are you communicating it?

Open Mic Night @ Successful-Blog

I'm really excited about tonight.  I will be hosting "open mic" night at Successful Blog while Liz Strauss is out of the country on business.  For those of you not familiar with open mic night, imagine a 4-way intersection with four vehicles approaching the intersection at top speed.  Vehicle 1 is driven by a strong desire for conversation and interaction.  Vehicle 2 is driven by blogospheric technology.  Vehicle 3 is driven by stream of consciousness.  Vehicle 4 is driven by Attention Deficit Disorder.  These four vehicles collide every Tuesday night starting at 7:00 PM CST.  Getting to host is a big honor.  I feel like the high schooler whose mom has just left him the keys to her favorite sports car ("don't worry, Mom, I'll drive VERY carefully" - wink, wink, nudge, snicker).

Tonight's topic will be fun (not that we have ever really stayed on topic).  Tonight we are discussing "Naughty or Nice:  Pranks and Good Deeds to get on one of Santa's lists."  And yes, that's me in the photo.  I was told to come up with a picture to go along with the theme.  They really should know better than to give me free rein on creativity by now.  Regardless, Santa does have his spies out and about, so we'll see what kind of "dirt" they can dig up.

If you're not doing anything tonight, feel free to swing by, participate in the conversation, or just observe some of the wackiest conversation you'll ever see.

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid

"I want an official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle."

Anybody who has seen the move, "A Christmas Story," is grinning right now.  If you have not yet seen this movie, climb out from under your rock and turn on your television this month.

That being said, everyone tried to warn Ralphie of the risks of getting what he wanted.  Still, he was determined.  Persistent.  Tenacious.  Annoyingly so.

We think we want certain things.  We think they will make us successful and significant.  We think we know better than everybody else.  We KNOW what it takes to accomplish our professional goals.  And we will not be distracted.

Such was the case with a blog post I ran across today on Business Knowledge Source blog.  The article was entitled, "How to be a manager and a friend."  YIKES.  Is that a realistic goal in today's world?  I look at these two roles, and I see almost two sets of expectations and needs.  Have we become that touchy-feely that we have to make this intersection a goal?

The author of the article is unclear... one of their writers who simply goes by D.F.  This person gives seemingly sound (if not overly obvious) advice to becoming both a friend and a manager:

• Build good relationships... (um... duh... should be a principle regardless of goals)
• Create a positive work environment (we'll get back to this one)
• Reduce office politics (don't get me started) through team building
• Provide a competitive salary because a friend wouldn't undercut a friend
• Take employee concerns seriously
• Communicate openly

I can't argue with any of these... except maybe the office politics issue, but then again I'm a little biased about this.  And I'm not arguing against this article in favor of managers becoming rotten two-faced back-stabbers.  There are certainly enough of those around without my endorsing that behavior.  My concern is people wanting to be both a manager and a friend.  While they do not have to be, the goals are somewhat mutually exclusive.  It's like being a parent and a friend.  The roles of parent and manager have to come first.  There are certain things that must be accomplished, and there are accountabilities to both roles to ensure that things are done right.  There are also huge consequences if the roles of manager or parent are screwed up.  Friendship, if we're lucky, is the by-product of the role performed correctly.  But be clear:  when there is a role conflict, the role of friend must take a back-seat - again, not to the extent of being mean to the employee - but so that the accomplishment can occur.  I've seen too many kids screwed up by parents trying too hard to be their friends, and I've seen too many employees set adrift by managers trying too hard to be their friends.

Within my roles as an advisor on Office-Politics.com and as a college instructor listening to his students and as an active participant in the corporate land of cubicles, I've seen what happens when a peer becomes a supervisor.  Many a friendship has been ruined by a single promotion.  Sometimes the friend role is forsaken completely for the afore-mentioned bad behavior as the new manager purposely attempts to drive a wedge in the relationships with his former peers.  Sometimes it is because the new supervisor attempts to maintain the friend role at the expense of the management role.

Yes, a good manager can be nice, supportive, caring, empathetic, helpful, and nurturing.  But these traits should exist within the role of a manager rather than as a friend.  When you pursue success at both roles at all costs, watch you.  You'll shoot your eye out, kid.

What do you think?  Is it realistic to pursue both roles simultaneously?  Should it be a goal?

Honey, I Think My Water Broke

Those were the words that started my day eight years ago today.  Of course, I had been sick as a dog the night before, and in my doped-up-on-anti-nausea-medication-at-2:45-in-the-morning stupor, my first response to my very expectant wife was "That's nice, dear."  Then the synapses connected.  Any sign of illness disappeared in a heartbeat as I moved into hyper-project-manager mode.  Of course, this was occurring 15 days before our scheduled due date.  First children are statistically late.  We hadn't packed our bags yet.  And even worse for a quasi-techie guy like me... We didn't yet know how to use our new video camera (which explains why the first footage of our first child was shot in "night vision").

Nevertheless, Lauren Elizabeth was destined to arrive on December 2, 1999 at 6:53 AM.  And my life has never been the same since.  At that moment, I attained a new title:  Dad.  It's a role that is a work-in-progress.  I've learned a lot in the past eight years, but it seems like the "education lab" remains open 24/7.  We're on the cusp of adolescence.  There are so many things to think about.  I never feel like I've arrived, and I doubt I ever will.  But that's a good thing in my book.  Complacency and parenthood really don't go well together.

Sometimes, I feel like my children teach me much more than I teach them.  We laugh and read and learn and hurt and cry and run and hug and create and giggle and whisper and shout and love.  And we do it over and over again.  We change the scenery and the mood and the characters and the plot... but the story's ending is always pretty happy.  Parenting is a great work of art on an ever-changing and never-ending canvas.  The only difference between parenting and painting is that the canvas can and does talk back.  It's about give-and-take.  Sometimes it's a win-win and other times it's a "Trust me; I'm doing this for your own good.  Still other times, it's painful enough to say, "You need to make the decision, but I'll be there to help you if you need it."

I know people who have been parenting a lot longer than I have.  They do it really darn well, and they make it look so easy.  They look like they've never shed a tear over worry or uncertainty or inadequacy.  I know that deep down somewhere there must be feelings of insecurity, but they don't show it.  But then I get the perfect affirmation from my daughters to let me know that I must be doing something right:  a hug and an "I love you, Daddy."  And I think back to my wife's life-changing words at 2:45 in the morning eight years ago.  And it feels good to be a parent.

(Happy Birthday, Lauren.  Today was your big day, but you gave me the greatest gift of all.)

O! Blog

I know I just did a "blog list" post, but I wanted to thank Troy Worman for recognizing Carpe Factum as an Outstanding Blog (O! Blog).  He's compiled a nice sized list of amazing and relevant reading.  There are some repeats from my post the other day, but there are many, many new ones also.

We're getting an ice storm here in Central Iowa, so my local readers will have more than enough reading, as long as the power holds up.

Troy - big Carpe Factum Thank You coming at ya, buddy!

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