The Raven Revisited

My apologies to Poe fans everywhere:

Once upon a year-end dreary, while I pondered weak and weary
Over many internet fantasy football's newly posted score
While I muddled, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping
As if some one gently rapping, rapping at my office door.
"Tis some janitor," I muttered, "tapping at my office door -
Only this, and nothing more

Ah, distinctly, I remember it was in the bleak December
With year-end data lying around me, piled high upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my org shart full of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore
For the fair and just project sponsor whom the C-Suite called Lenore -
Downsized here for evermore.

And the massive piles of data rustling, of each deadline bustling
Thrilled me, filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some janitor demanding entrance at my office door -
Some late janitor emptying trash from at my office floor -
This it is, and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger, hesitating then no longer,
"Yo!" said I, "You want my waste basket, my trash, and nothing more?
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my office door
That I wasn't sure I heard you" - here I opened wide the door -
Darkness there, and nothing more

Deep into cubicles peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing
Doubting things no mortal project manager did before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token
And my thoughts of project sponsors lost made me whisper, "Lenore?"
This I whispered, and cubicles echoeds back, "Lenore!"
Merely this, and nothing more.

Back to my computer turning, while my CDs still were burning
Soon my email made the tapping sound, much louder than before
"Surely," said I, "email, you ox, something in my Windows in-box
Let me see then, what the message, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this strange email explore -
Tis an email, nothing more!"

Wish I could relive this odd tale, when I opened the strange email
Coming from the pompous head of Division Number Four
No apology nor excuse here, only threats and strengthened fear,
But this email came and perched on my wallpaper of Al Gore -
Perched upon ice caps melting just above my data store -
To be read and nothing more.

Then this simple email filing made my sad fancy into smiling
By the grumpy and the grouchy face unfortunately I wore.
"Though I sit here quite unshaven, over all my data slavin'
Ghastly grim and common email wandering onto my data store -
Tell me what thy purpose!"
Quoth the Scope Creep, "Do some more!"

Startled by my peace now smitten by reply so curtly written
"Doubtless," said I, "what he utters adds upon our project's score
From some sadistic master whose unmerciful disaster
Makes us work faster and harder than we ever did before
Said the email, "Do some more!"

Thus I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To this message which now threatened my performance score
In my chair I sat reclining, here now thinking of resigning
On the messy desktop's shining pile of crap from Division Four
But their manager, his message pressing me like ne'er before -
Quoth the Scope Creep, "Do some more!"

Then I felt the air grow stronger, stinking from durations longer
Made so by unnecessary tasks whose purpose shook my very core
"Jerk!" I cried, "how dare you do this, throw my project scope amiss
Now that I no longer have my fair and just sponsor named Lenore
Why, oh why, this kind of action from my dear and downsized Lenore?"
Quoth the Scope Creep, "Do Some More!"

And the email, never scrolling, all my changes now controlling
On the wallpaper of melting ice caps in honor of Al Gore
And his words have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming
Taunting, haunting me over the shadow of the downsized Lenore
And my sould from out that shadow lies floating on the floor
Shall ne'er be lifted till I do some more.

The Jazz of Carpe Factum

I've been enjoying the jazz scene here in New Orleans during my stay for the LavaCon/PMI Conference. Since I am staying right in the French Quarter, finding live jazz is not a difficult chore.  In our overworked and overstressed society of getting more done with less, there is a lot to be learned about how to carpe factum - how to "git'r done" - by watching these artists perform.

• It's all about the rhythm - sure, there are some trumpets that seem to take on a life of their own, and there are saxophones with more sex than all of Bourbon Street combined... but at the heart of it all is the rhythm, the beat.  When we are trying to get things done, how are we pacing ourselves?  Are we operating on a steady rhythm or are we letting everything around us set the rhythm for us?  I'm thinking of buying a metronome for my desk, just to remind me that my rhythm is mine, and I'm in control of setting it.
• The ensemble is best - soloists are wonderful, and there are many talented individual musicians, but I'm drawn to the small ensembles.  They seem to play off of each other tremendously well, they complement each others' sounds and styles, and they know when to give each other a rest and do a little solo action from time to time.  Who is your ensemble - your team - and how well are you all playing together?  Do each of you know which instruments you play and when to play them?  Are you to the point of just instinctively communicating?  Do you know when and how to give each other a rest from time to time?
• Room for spontaneity - at the heart of jazz is the ability to just break out into something random, to chase a tune for a little while just because it feels right.  I've mentioned this before in these writings, but it's becoming increasingly evident that slack time must be built into schedules.  If we overschedule and overplan, it becomes as bad as not planning at all.  Occasionally, we all feel the need to chase a different tune when opportunity arises, and we need the flexibility to pursue it when it does.

It's been a fun trip to the Big Easy (I'll be back), and I'm looking forward to getting home to see my friends and family again.

How Classical Is Classical?

"History merely repeats itself.  It has all been done before.  Nothing under the sun is truly new."  Ecclesiastes 1:9

One of my favorite birthday presents this year came from my daughters.  (OK, my wife bought it, but the tag was from them, so they're getting the credit.)  They got me a CD I'd been wanting called Wolfgang's Big Night Out by the Brian Setzer Orchestra.  Imagine some of the best classical music ever written - Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Strauss - put to a swing rhythm with strong influences of blue grass and some guitar riffs that would have the head-banging-est heavy metal afficianado drooling with delight.  Suffice it to say, it is one kickin' set of tunes.  Wait a second... did I just refer to classical greats as a "kickin' set of tunes"????  Hmmm, I guess I did.

In organizations, we spend a lot of time arguing about what is or should be obsolete.  We discuss shelf time and useful life.  We talk about planned obsolescence.  We tackle version control.  We slay sacred cows.  Roger von Oech, truly one of my favorite creative theorists, tackled this in his blog a while back:

Remember: every right idea is eventually the wrong idea.

Innovation means not only generating new ideas, but escaping from obsolete ones as well.

As you think about a current problem or issue, you might ask yourself these questions: "What assumptions should I update? What is no longer true and should be discarded? What's now possible?"

But....

How often do we do the opposite?  When do we look at things that were once useful and then tossed aside to see if we can re-create them in a new light?  I enjoy classical music and appreciate it in the right context... but listening to Brian Setzer's version adds all new zest and zeal for these classics.  What about in work?  Instead of scanning the list of new books on the Best Seller List, go back and read some Deming or Drucker.  They were pretty timeless at telling us what it would take to make an organization work really well.  What "classics" can you take down off the shelf, blow the dust off, and give them a new look and feel?

Nature Sure Can Carpe Factum

On Outlets And Inputs

I've been staying in a lot of hotel rooms lately... some very respectable chains... Marriott, Holiday Inn, etc.  But I've noticed a common thread among all of them that is bugging the heck out of me... not enough electrical outlets in strategically placed locations throughout the room.

Why?  Are they afraid we might use too much electricity if they give us more outlets?  Do they think we'll create a fire hazard?  What's next?  A lump of coal per room per night?  I have a cell phone to charge.  A laptop to use.  A CPAP to sleep with.  I NEED POWER!

Do we find ourselves doing the same thing to our customers?  Are we giving them the right kinds of inputs at the right time in the right quantities?  Sometimes we think we are providing great customer service, only to find out we've totally missed the mark.  Another example that comes readily to mind is my (new) Ford Escape.  I've never been one to think of a car as much more than transportation from point A to point B.  However, there are some features to this vehicle that I'm seriously missing from my Jeep:  automatic headlights, compass, outside thermometer reading.  However, it has a moon roof and a six-CD stereo.  I'm sure the fine folks at Ford thought they were adding value to me with these delightful features (snicker, chuckle).  Here's a thought:  ASK them what they really want and when they want it.

Any supply chain manager knows that the best way of managing the chain is to ensure that your outputs coordinate (timing and quantity-wise) with the next guy's inputs.... and so on and so forth.  If Marriott's output is a comfortable hotel room for their guests, then they can start by asking my needs for inputs... more electrical outlets.

Now, if you don't mind, I need to find an outlet before my laptop battery dies.  Good night!

May I Have 37 Foam Clown Noses, Please?

My students and I had an interesting discussion in our Leadership class at Drake this week.  We talked about fun.  Actually, the discussion was more focused on corporate culture and the leader's role in shaping it, but we were covering some case studies about actual organizations who infused fun into their corporate cultures.

One student had an interesting question, and I'd like to pass it along and pose it to you, my readers.  Is it possible to make any and every job fun?  Conversely, are there jobs or industries in which fun is just not a possibility?

This seemed to generate some lively discussion among my students.  By the way, don't they look adorable?  (The folks at the costume shop thought I was a little off my rocker... but that's not far from the truth.)

So... what are your thoughts about fun in the workplace?  We spend so much of our waking hours there... shouldn't we make it a goal to make it somewhat tolerable?

Well, Hello, Dalai...

How interesting... The U.S. honors the Dalai Lama with a Congressional Medal of Honor... and now China is upset with us for doing so... yeah, I get the whole "world politics scene" and why they are doing it.  Tibetan independence... blah, blah, blah.  It's pretty much all about posturing and perception.  However, from a personal standpoint, I find myself scratching my head.  The award is between the U.S. and the Dalai Lama.  Who cares what China thinks?

But let's take it down a few levels.  I was at a Valley High School football game the other night where U.S. gymnast (and World Champion) Shawn Johnson was honored by the athletic director for her recent accomplishments.  On a trip to the restroom, I overheard some snippy and disgruntled high school girls sniping about the "special attention" that Shawn was receiving.  My inside voice started screaming, "I'm sorry... how many world championships did you win that your high school ignored?"  Crikeys!  Local kid makes good - really, REALLY good - and there are ugly comments.  But again, that's just high schoolers for you.  They get their nose bent out of shape over the wrong color of shoes.

We in the corporate world don't behave as badly as high schoolers and international super powers when somebody else is being honored, do we?  (Pause while the uncontrollable laughter runs its course.)  When I was employed in a department at a "big box employer" here in town, we had a woman in our department.  We'll call her Hannah.  Hannah was a bastion of mediocrity, although in her own mind, she was the best consultant/analyst/facilitator that ever graced the department.  Every month, the promotion list would come out.  Every month, her name wasn't on it.  Every month, we would deal with the same theatrics (crying, pouting, and bad-mouthing).  I sort of felt sorry for her.  She had very little self-awareness regarding the issues that were holding her back, but she consistently ignored any and all coaching she received on the issue.  Over all, she was just unpleasant whenever anybody else got ahead.

So, how do we deal with the disgruntled and unrecognized when somebody is honored with an award, recognition, a raise, or a promotion?

1.  Get at the root cause of the reaction:

• Are they jealous of their coworker?  That's a hard pill to swallow and an even worse one to manage.  The green-eyed monster bites everyone from time to time.
• Do they just not like the person being honored?  I'd simply tell them to get over it; they're only hurting themselves.  Smear campaigns always backfire.
• Is it a self-esteem issue?  Eleanor Roosevelt's quote, "Nobody can make me feel inferior without my consent," always seems to bring it into perspective.
• Is the honoree truly NOT deserving?  This does happen sometimes.  I remind them that time catches up with everybody.

2.  Talk it over with the disgruntled party.  Instead of focusing on the person being honored, what can they do by themselves, for themselves, to make themselves feel better?  Validate their feelings, but don't let them stay there.  Make them take some ownership.

3.  Create an action plan.  Have the disgruntled party list three short-term goals and three long-term goals that they can pursue.  The trick here is to take the attention off of the person being honored.  If they are focused on pursuing their own work, they won't have time to worry about what is happening to someone else.

4.  Close the loop.  Allowing the disgruntled feelings to stay out there and fester is not healthy.  Encourage them to congratulate the honored individual (sincerely), even if they don't feel like it.  Doing so will at least help them recognize that the award took place and prevents them from spiraling into other behaviors.

What happens between the Dalai Lama and China or between Shawn and her classmates is yet to be seen.  Let's see what we can do to make the workplace a little nicer environment than high school and international politics.

Images from www.dalailama.com and www.usa-gymnastics.org.

October Sky

The speaking engagements for this month are starting to take off again.  I thought I would highlight some of my upcoming activities for this month, and if you are in the neighborhood, I would love to meet you in person.

October 16 - Northeast Wisconsin Chapter of the International Facilities Management Association (IFMA) - lunch keynote on Office Politics

October 26 - Central Iowa Chapter of the Project Management Institute (PMI) - emceeing the lunch segment of the Professional Development Day event.  The lunch is a celebration of the chapter's 15th anniversary

October 28-30 - Greater New Orleans Chapter of the Project Management Institute - delivering two workshops, one on Project Communication and the other on Office Politics.

Also of note... East Village Books will be opening soon on the corner of East 6th and Locust in Des Moines.  Teri has put together an amazing shop that is sure to be a smashing success.  Stop by and check it out.

Don't forget... tomorrow is Boss's Day.  A great gift for your boss might be a book on project management or office politics (hint, hint).

Conservative Republican Males for Hillary '08

Since I like to "geek out" on office politics, one of my "governmentally" political friends asked me the other day whom I was favoring in the 2008 Presidential race.  Since he knew I'd been a registered Republican since I started voting (never mind what year that was), I think he was more than a little shocked when I told him that, if I had to vote right now ... today ... that in my opinion, the "best man" for the job was Hillary Clinton.

I guess I should explain here.  Let's put all pet projects and political platforms aside.  After all, the president (more or less) is still at the mercy of the whims of a very fickle Congress.  So, that being thrown out, the issue of party is no longer as relevant for me.  In this sea of mediocre candidates, we're looking at a bunch of people who basically think Bush stinks.  I'll admit, I've been less than enthralled by some of the antics of the Bush administration.  Granted, he was better than the alternatives in either 2000 or 2004, but still... there are a lot of things leaving many of us scratching our collective heads.  OK, so none of the candidates like W.  No big differentiators there.  And it's really not a great platform... "I'm better than the last guy."

Since I'm a business consultant, let's approach this using basic business principles.  The mood in America right now is hungering for something different.  And the current business benchmark for "different" would be Seth Godin's Purple Cow premise (those that stick out from the crowd are more likely to be noticed).  As a nation, we've always been run by older-middle-aged white males.  If we are to seek the "purple cow" in this election, that leaves two candidates:  Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.  Sorry to say it, but Barack is too purple (and I'm not talking race, either).  Candidates with unusual names do not get elected (yes, Tancredo, that includes you, too.)  In our minds, we already know what "President Clinton" sounds like; it's a title-name combo we can get our brains around.  Also, she "looks" more presidential than many of the other candidates.  So, from a marketing standpoint, Clinton wins.

Now, let's take it from an HR standpoint.  The only person in this entire sea of candidates who has any experience in the White House is... um... Hillary.  She's been there.  She's lived it.  Granted her role was "First Lady" but you can bet that she knew what was going on.  Amazingly enough, she still wants the job.  Everyone else is a governor or a senator or ... well... miscellaneous.  If I were to hire a CEO, I'd want somebody who's been in the corner office before - on the same scale of company as mine.  Sure, the Clintons have skeletons, but none of them are in the closet anymore.  They're all out on display.  Bill is a philandering, skirt-chasing lug.  And... people who cross the Clintons wind up in jail or the morgue (sorry for the reminder, Webster).  These are known flaws.  But the fact remains:  they're KNOWN.  Yeah, Mitt Romney has nice hair... but what is he hiding?

Office politics are pretty much the same thing.  You can try to read the people around you, analyze them, discuss them, pontificate about them.  But in the end, it's a crap shoot and you hope you can trust the person you pick for your team.  After all... there are some really good actors out there (but we're not talking about Fred Thompson).  There are more than twelve months before I have to cast my ballot.  A lot can happen between now and then.  But since I was asked...

(Oh, and the scary thing is... I'm not the only Republican who's thinking this way.)

Managing Bulldozers

The meeting is happening.  You're zipping plowing chugging stumbling through the agenda when somebody starts dominating the conversation.  The reasons for the domination may vary, but most often, you find these people want a couple of different things:

• Attention - being a youngest child, I can appreciate this.  However, there's a time and a place, and meetings are not the place for rabid attention seekers
• Ego - but enough about me, let's talk about me.  This person may feel as though s/he is the only one with something relevant to say.
• Urgency - Perhaps there's a time frame or perceived importance factor... this one may have some relevance to the situation.

Regardless of the reason, it's Mutiny on the Bounty, and you're the captain who's going to go down with his ship if you don't rein in the situation quickly.  As Peg Kelley, meeting facilitator extraordinaire, shared on the InfoMean blog:

When you’re in a car on a trip, the easy ways to ruin the experience are to get stopped by the police when you disobey the rules of the road or to have the passengers fighting and complaining. The same is true of meetings. Let people know what the guidelines are. Do your best to keep the dialogue moving forward. Listen to all viewpoints, but don’t let one view dominate the others. Manage the time and discussion so that speakers change and participants are engaged. If you’re bored, so are others. If you’re tired of a particular voice, you’re not alone.

Which leads us to the need for a strategy... how can you as a leader or facilitator manage the renegade and runaway bulldozer who is threatening to monopolize your meeting?

• Summarize - encapsulate what they've said and then call on somebody else - by name - specifically to get another view point.
• Parking Lot - if the bulldozer is getting off topic, validate that you heard them by "parking" their comment on a separate sheet of flipchart paper you keep in the room for tangential items
• Scribing - it's hard to talk while you're writing.  If I know that I have a potential dominator who needs to be in the room but won't add tremendous value, I make them the scribe.  This keeps them busy enough so they can't participate to their normal level.
• Uninvite - don't let the person come back if s/he doesn't change the behavior (last resort).

Those are just a few suggestions.  How do you manage your meeting bulldozers?

Top Image from Despair.com

A Question Of Ethics and Morality?

So, last night I'm busily preparing for my Drake leadership class this week... finalizing all of the exercises and slides and content.  And I was reviewing one more time the book we'll be discussing this week:  The Power of Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval.

Then it occurred.

Minutes of very loud buzzing from a fly... one single solitary winged insect intent on barnstorming my best efforts to stay focused and productive.  I swatted aimlessly at him with my hand on occasion, hoping to shoo him away.  He persisted.  Continually getting louder.

Finally... frustration... and then CRACK... dead aim.  Spot on.  Fly dead.  Killed by The Power of Nice.  My apologies to Robin and Linda; I'm sure that wasn't the intent of their book.

Somehow the phrase "kill 'em with kindness" most likely does not apply in this case.

Does this make me a bad person?

Poor Cubs

Sigh.  Another year.  Another disappointment.  Hopes dashed.  Oh well.  Maybe next year.

Chicago Cubs fans are the pillars of the hope-disappointment cycle.  Every year, we delude ourselves into thinking, "This could be the year."  Years like this one - where the cubs get a little post-season action - are especially disappointing.  Hopes are up... and then... sigh... maybe next year.

Cubs fans are the brunt of many jokes, but we're a very stoic bunch.  We know deep down in our hearts that, with global warming and climate changes, there is a strong chance that Hell actually could freeze over and our waiting will be rewarded.

What amazes me is the number of employees who put up with the same kind of carrot dangling from their employers.  "Sorry, no promotion this year.  Maybe next year."  Or "You're just not ready yet.  We'll talk about it again at next year's performance evaluation."  And then next year rolls around.  Then it is "Oh, gee, you've been doing better, but so has everyone else."  Or "I'm sorry... I put in for a promotion but there's no money in the budget this year."

And, just like Chicago Cubs fans, we believe that next year might be the year.  Michael Adhi suggests that employees and employers alike should approach approach performance appraisals with a contractual MBO agreement.  "If I produce X and Y next year, I will receive Z."  No questions asked; nobody gets hurt.  Better yet, no missed expectations and no unpleasant surprises.  Can it really be that straight forward?  Could it be that Peter Drucker was right all along?

What do you think?

Top Ten Revised

It's about time.

It had been over 10 months since I had updated my top ten favorite posts.  It was almost as if I had been saying that none of my 2007 writing on this blog was worthwhile.  So, after some gentle persuasion from a few key stakeholders, the Favorite Posts list was revamped.

Keep in mind, these are my favorite posts.  If there is one that I ignored, let me know.  This list is dynamic.  It's always helpful to have a few "tried and  true" favorites in my back pocket to share with others.  However, having this list does not prevent me from creating and trying new things in my writing.  Who knows?  I may just create something for the next top 10 list.  Happy reading.

1. Why Carpe Factum?  (This will probably always be the number 1 post... for obvious reasons)
2. Case File 060805 (This one generated more traffic than any other single post)
3. God's Little Chew Toy
4. Satan's Chihuahua
5. Accomplishment Apnea
6. Conversion on the Road to "Damn!  Ask us!" (New addition to the top 10... sucker for word play)
7. Milestones in Project Life
8. My Blogging Metaphore (New... really encapsulates my perceptions about the blogosphere)
9. Authorities Baffled by Conversation Serial Killer (New... I had fun with the photography on this)
10. Things That Make You Go Boom (New... the experience to write this was totally worth it)

Of course, there are others that I like, and I'm sure there are some that you like as well (both of mine and of yours).  Enjoy the list... and I look forward to continuing to provide new material.

Most Post: How-To Books

It's been a while since I've done my last MOST post.  I decided when I started these that I would only post one that I thought would be interesting and engaging.

Recently, I've been thinking about "How To" books... no, not writing one myself, mind you.  But I am curious about your opinions,,,

So answer one of the following questions:

1. What has been the most helpful "how to" book you've ever read (include amazon or other web link)?
2. What is your most coveted "how to" book that has yet to be written?

This could be fun... have a great weekend.

Now THIS Is An Elevator Speech

I've always said that every professional needs to be prepared with an elevator speech... you know, the 30-second yada-yada-yada that you can give your CEO if he asks what you're doing and how you add value to the company.  It should not be that hard.  After all, if Anita Renfroe can take every single line that a mom says in a 24 hour period and condense it to under 3 minutes and set it to the William Tell Overture, how hard really can YOUR job be?  Enjoy!

Derisionaries

"[Creativity] is like driving a car at night.  You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way."  -E.L. Doctorow

I love people who tell me something won't work... or that I'm wrong... or (my personal favorite) tell me I'm crazy for bringing it up.  It makes trying all that more enjoyable and proving them wrong all the sweeter.  Of course, I'm not a do-the-I'm-right-you're-wrong-in-your-face-dance kind of guy.  I prefer more of a quiet waltz past the finish line.

But I digress.

As you may have guessed by some of my posts, I generally don't categorize myself as just a professor or a consultant any longer.  I'm the "Carpe Factum" dude.  I like to help people chart out the accomplishments for their future.  What can they become if they put their minds to it?  The hard part is never getting them there; it's getting them to envision what "there" looks like.  Ask any project manager who knows his or her stuff.  They'll tell you that a successful project will expend far more energy during initiation and planning.  Just defining a direction is tough.

Based on the Doctorow quote above, what have been your greatest successes in helping others (or yourself) define the next course of action?  How do you deal with the derisionaries - those naysayers who say it can't be done?

No Old Curmudgeons Here, Thank You

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."  -Apostle Paul

Seems hard to believe another year has come and gone.  My daughter and I turn another year old today.  She turns three; I turn something-greater-than-three.  I really couldn't ask for a better birthday buddy, since we have similar personality traits and enjoy many of the same things in life.  And it was great to have almost our entire family around last night to help us celebrate our joint birthdays.  Although...

How do I put this without sounding ungrateful?  Something is bothering me.  She received a lot of cool toys.  I got an iPod.  She scored a make-believe doctor's kit (and insisted that we call her "Dr. Abby" the rest of the night).  I made off with some excellent gift certificates to Barnes & Noble and such.  Don't get me wrong... I think our family was very generous to both of us, and we're both very happy with what we received.  I think my question is... when did I grow up... and why did I let it happen?

The more I think about it, the more I believe that childhood should be a lifelong state.  There should always be wonder, imagination, and curiosity around every turn... even if we think we know the answers.  We should continue to get skinned knees and wear them like trophies.  We should check out that little forest at the end of the block because... well... you just never know....  We should revel in reading a swashbuckling adventure book under a tree on a lazy afternoon because every boy should know the finer art of swashbuckling.  We should ask why... again... and again... and again.  Maybe the answers the "adults" are giving are not complete enough for us to put our minds around.  We should eat ice cream at our own pace, and if it drips... that's what the dog is for.

So my birthday wish is this (for me and for you):  don't fall into the numbers trap.  Whether you're three or ... um... forty-one... laugh more, question more, trick and tease, romp and run, play dress-up for no reason other than to let your imagination soar, hug more, sing, get grass stains on your new pants, and find a swing set just begging for attention.  We'll leave the growing up for the adults.  We have better things to occupy our time.