Authorities Baffled By Conversation Serial Killer
[Blog Wire Press] - Local authorities are baffled by a series of killed conversations. Unfortunately, these untimely deaths are providing few clues to police, who arrive in time to find the corpse of a conversation lying dormant on the ground with no witnesses in sight.
"We're baffled. The killer is showing no distinct patterns," stated an investigator who asked that his name not be used. The most recent victim was found on a sidewalk near an abandoned garage. Victims have been found in all parts of town, some in very prominent and well-trafficked areas. None have survived to identify the perpetrator(s).
Many citizens are becoming more and more concerned about the safety of their conversations, and are taking them online, where they are perceived to be safe. However, this may or may not be the best solution, depending on one's prowess with social media. The killers may exist on-line, but may just take on different appearances to suit their needs.
Investigators are researching past "crimes against communication" (CAC) division files. An essay by John Carey revealed some clues:
And cell phones, fortunately, are everywhere; allowing us to multiplex our minds and our lives. Cell phoning while driving. Cell phoning while eating. Talking on the cell phone at a wedding. I’ve even recently observed fast food restaurant guests talking to each other across the table on their cell phones. Do we really need to communicate this much? Are we discussing Plato or the meaning of life? Not usually. We are often scheduling more work, explaining why we are late, or just wasting time and space on the frequency band.
Meanwhile, police have rounded up some of the usual suspects of crimes of this magnitude, although not one was positively identified in a series of police line-ups. Detectives are considering contacting conversational forensics experts, Mike Sansone or Valeria Maltoni, to consult on the case. Meanwhile, security is being beefed up around communications gurus like Connie Reece and Lisa Gates, just as a precaution.
These recent violent acts against communication come as authorities are still reeling from the Morale Marauder, who remains at large after a scandalous spree of kidnapping team morale for ransom. Authorities have few leads on this case after more than a year of investigation.
If you have any leads on either of these cases, or if you observe suspicious acts toward or near active conversations, you are encouraged to contact the appropriate authorities.