Brit Lit Wit

Before my first book, Race Through The Forest, was published last year, a colleague gave me a good-natured ribbing by telling me that I would not be considered a real author until I had been panned by some snooty British critic.  Well, I guess I've become a real author.

John Naish of the UK-based "newspaper" The Times wrote a rather scathing (albeit highly amusing) review of GUST - The "Tale" Wind of Office Politics.  What makes it amusing is that his only premise of criticism is the animal comparisons that I make (snake, ostrich, bear), which altogether comprise less than 5% of the content of the book.  While I would never come right out and accuse Mr. Naish or The Times of lacking the journalistic integrity it takes to read a book before reviewing it (my wife's high school students know better than that, so I'm assuming a so-called journalist would as well), he certainly leaves open the perception that he merely Googled the Register article and thought he could turn around a quick writing assignment without much effort.

But enough of his writing and researching skills, I really enjoyed his snarky ramblings about using animals to prove a point.  I'm sure he'll be picking on George Orwell or Beatrix Potter next.  Imagine their nerve, using whole entire animal farms and cute little bunny rabbits to drive home the moral of the story.  As Mr. Naish deftly points out:

It’s a shame he stops at three. How about the corporate flatfish? They’re usually beige, floundering, with eyes extremely close together. It’s easy to walk on them without even knowing. Or the workplace llama. Cute-looking, apparently harmless and very woolly, they are equipped with three sets of fighting teeth designed to rip off rivals’ genitals when things get rough.

And what of the office gazebo? Oh. Sorry, that’s a different management-book concept entirely: is your boss a well-known garden structure archetype?

Besides the animal critique, there was one other sentence in his short review which I found most entertaining of all:

Rivalry is always intense for the accolade of worst-named business book of the year, but I know which one my money’s on.

So here is where I want your input, my fun-loving readers.  I have two contests in which I would like your participation:

1. Besides animals and garden structure archetypes, what analogy would you have used to help people understand office politics?
2. What would you have named a business fable about office politics?

The person who can come up with the most ludicrous, most outlandish alternative idea that I could have used for my book that would have really set Mr. Naish on edge wins a free autographed copy.  One winner for each category.  Entries are due next Monday, June 4 at 11:59 PM CDT.  Mr. Naish can even play, too, if he wants.  But he's already done enough; thanks to him, I'm now a "real author."

P.S.  I did leave him a comment on the article already, thanking him for the publicity and inviting him to call me for an interview once he's had a chance to read the book.

Introducing Connie Reece

While at SOBCon07 a couple of weeks ago, the organizers did something which I thought was truly innovative and played well into the relationship-building theme of the weekend.  After completing the door prize drawings, they put all of the business cards back into a big bowl.  On our way out the door, we were to draw out a business card and that person was to become our blogging buddy.

The person whose name I drew is a little shy on the mainstream publicity (I know, odd for a blogger); however, I really lucked out on the person who drew my name out of the bowl.  Connie Reece writes for Every Dot Connects, and she has a whole new spin on public relations.  In her own words:

At gut level, most people in advertising, marketing and public relations know that people are tired of being talked to. What people want—what they’re now demanding—is dialogue.

Communications professionals should be at the leading edge of this transition to conversational marketing, but few practitioners have actually developed the social media skills to help their clients, customers and consumers join the global conversation.

The folks who make up Every Dot Connects no longer simply direct messages at audiences. What we specialize in is making connections with people. We take a different approach—one that does not fall back on the stale “we’re excited to announce” press release or the glossy print ad featuring anorexic models or the art-as-entertainment TV commercial.

Oh, we still do public relations, but it’s the kind of PR that lives up to its name: building relationships with the public. And that’s impossible if the conversation is only one-way.

Wow... what an awesome lady!  I have to admit that I'm still behind the 8-ball at adding all of my new SOBCon07 blogging buddies to my blog roll, but you can expect to see Connie's name there soon.  She's been wonderful to comment on my blog a few times in the past couple of weeks, always making a wonderfully supportive and relevant comment.  Am I a lucky pup or what?!?!?!

Mind Reading in Braille

I've always been amused by the scenes in movies when people are gathered around an attorney's office for the reading of the last will and testament of a deceased person.  There are usually a bunch of well dressed people sitting in high back leather chairs in a mahogany paneled office with soft music playing in the back ground.  They build up the suspense and then it all becomes pretty formulaic:  somebody inherits something great that they weren't expecting, and somebody else receives some tacky little trinket (or nothing at all) and felt they deserved more.  Then there are a few "You don't deserve that" comments thrown around, a threat or two to contest the will.  Then switch to the next scene.

Now imagine that you're in that scene, and the attorney says, "And to [insert your name here], I bequeath the project I was managing.  Good luck.  You're going to need it."  You sit there, dumbfounded for a moment, your jaw dropping so far down that a first year dental student could get a complete history in one glance.  After you try to trade with the person next to you who inherited the priceless Ming vase, you resign yourself to your fate.  And now comes the really tough part:  you have to figure out what was going on in their mind and try to pick up and move on.

Sometimes you have the luxury of "reaching beyond the grave" and talking to the exiting project manager for a smooth transition.  More often than not, that transition may be an unceremonious handing off of a huge project folder and a pat on the back.  Then you're left flying blind and trying to read the mind of your predecessor.

What do you do next?  Well, this is not too unlike a project rescue and recovery effort in many respects; however, there are a few basic steps you should take in the first week as you are ramping up:

• Talk to people - don't just send out a mass email introducing yourself.  Schedule an all-hands meeting your first day on the project.  Then follow it up with one on one introductions with the key members of your team.  Get to know them and give them a reason to start respecting you.  I was on a project a while back where the team wouldn't have liked anybody, but it still didn't stop me from trying to build the relationships.
• Confirm scope - if there are things about the original requirements or tasks that don't make sense, now is your time to correct it.  You don't have to go hog-wild on change requests, but this is your opportunity to kill a sacred cow or two.
• Review the project plan - if the plan was structured in a way that makes you uncomfortable (i.e., too general), then now is your chance to redo it.  People may be frustrated that you're slowing down the progress of the project, but sell them on the investment of making sure that you're all successful at the end.
• Revisit assumptions and risks - one major assumption was already violated on this plan:  the project manager left.  There may be a domino effect.  Your job, Sherlock, is to figure out what other assumptions and risks may affect YOUR management of the project.
• Figure out why the previous project manager left - sure, we all want a challenge, but nobody wants to be set up for failure.  If the issue for their departure is fixable, then fix it (or add it to your risk list so it's documented).  If it is not fixable, then ask whether the project should move forward until the problem is fixed.  (NOTE:  That's a tough discussion to have with senior management, so make sure your back bone is straight and strong.)

At some point, we all have to take over somebody else's project.  Sometimes the transition is painless.  Other times, you have to do a lot of telepathic mind reading.  Whatever you do, just don't go barging in without a little questionning first.  Good luck!

Left Behind

No, I'm not writing a book report on pre-millennial rapture fiction.

My wife and I attended a retirement party for one of her fellow teachers last night.  During the program, I watched as his coworkers appropriately roasted him.  However, throughout the program was an underlying foundation of respect and gratitude for his many years in the district as a teacher.  He had impacted thousands of young lives over his career.  There were glowing testimonials from teachers and students alike.

The bottom line:  he didn't just teach; he changed lives.

Then I thought about my retirement... not the one in 25 years, but the one that happens every day.  When I shut down my desk at the end of the day, have I changed at least one life for the better?  Is somebody's job a little easier?  Have I helped somebody find a solution?  Have I launched somebody in a more relevant and meaningful direction?  Have I simply encouraged somebody to smile or laugh?  What legacy have I left today?

It's the start of a new work week... when you retire to go home in a few hours, what will be your legacy?  What will you leave behind?

Saturday Slide

Hi all... just a bunch of miscellaneous call-outs and FYI's, perfect for a weekend post.

First of all, thanks to Jane Greer and the wonderful folks at The National Networker e-Zine for the write-up on me and my book this month.

I've been having a lot of fun writing for Office-Politics.com and for Iowabiz.com the past few weeks.  Check out some of my posts.  Thanks to Franke and Mike and Drew for the opportunities to write elsewhere.

Rush Nigut and the folks at Jobdig have both given GUST a little recognition recently.  Thanks for the call-outs.

Speaking of GUST, if you're still tinkering with the gray matter trying to figure out the perfect graduation gift for the college graduate in your life, why not buy them a copy of GUST - The "Tale" Wind of Office Politics?  You and I both know that they will face office politics more quickly than they'll care to admit, why not prepare them for it in advance?  Sure, it's not they keys to a new sports car, but the insurance and maintenance cost a lot less.

That's about it for today.  Enjoy your weekend!

Lobal Warming

"I don't care what your data shows!  I'm right!"  He screamed so loudly that it almost caused a feedback effect on the conference phone as the last echoes of his screech bounced around the room.

Have you ever had to deal with somebody who just digs their heels in and won't even listen to reason?  You may have the best case in the world for your position, but this person wants nothing to do with it.  They only want to be right, to win at all costs.  Your position is irrelevant.

I've been on projects with that individual before, and it's far from pleasant.  We perceive them as resistant and label them as stubborn.  We consider them myopic.  And we work around them.  Now, we should not confuse this individual with the perpetually negative Eeyore, nor should we universally lump them in with bully executives.  What this post is about is the individual who has a win-at-all-costs-and-take-no-prisoners mindset.

There are a few considerations to ponder when trying to reason with the unreasonable:

• Call a time-out:  If it gets to a screaming match, nothing productive will come of that.  End the meeting.  Even if it's with your most valuable client, politely state that you are sorry that the discussion resulted in this behavior, so you will reschedule the meeting when a respectful conversation can take place.
• Coach the person:  If this behavior is uncharacteristic of their normal personality, take the time to talk with the person off-line.  There may be factors at play that you need to know, but take the time to have a discussion about why they were so frozen in their mindset.
• Work around them:  If they are not critical to the decision or to the input, don't include them.  We're all busy, and if they're just a run-of-the-mill stakeholder, you need not waste everybody else's time.  But make sure that they and their boss knows that they are excluded and why.  It's a performance issue at that point.
• Develop an alliance:  There is safety in numbers, and sometimes a shouting match is what is needed to solve the problem.  Before you confront and out-and-out battle, make absolutely sure that you have all of the facts and data to support your point, and that you have allies who will go to the mattress with you.
• Check your timing:  Your view may make sense and may be right, but the timing may be bad for others, for the team, or for the company.  Many years ago, I did a cost-benefit study for an employer's Facilities Management department on moving the company to universal workstations (i.e., everyone below VP would have the same work station).  My study showed they would have saved millions of dollars, but the culture of the company was very hierarchical and regimented and would not support such a radical move.  Hence, you may be right but still have to concede.

There are many other negotiation tactics that may be used in tense situations where the other side refuses to melt, budge, or otherwise give an inch.  Just remember the outcome you are seeking and keep that big picture in mind when you develop a strategy for approaching the highly difficult resistor.

FLICKR Photo by Megabuddy

Returning From A Parallel Universe

My drive home today from SOBCon07 in Chicago was strange.  Nothing occurred during the drive that was out of the ordinary, but I can only imagine that the feeling I was experiencing was similar to what people feel when they've been abducted by aliens or have seen Bigfoot.  There's a natural adrenaline "high" but then you just have to keep pinching yourself to figure out if it really happened.  The big difference between me and the alien hostages is that I had a camera.

Tony D. Clark and event sponsor Sharon Scherer were at my table!

Mega Real-Time Blogger Jason Alba was live blogging the whole darn thing... right beside me!

"Rock Stars" Easton Ellsworth and Troy Worman... together in one room!

New Friends event sponsor Ari Garber and Tom Clifford (I'm the bald guy in the middle)

Phil Gerbyshak (always the ladies' man) with Lisa Gates, Lorelle VanFossen, Kammie Kobyleski, and Liz Strauss

More New Friends Derrick Sorles and Michael Snell

On Saturday, we heard from some amazing speakers:

Andy Sernovitz

Phil Gerbyshak

Liz Strauss

David Armano

Mike Sansone

Drew McLellan

Mike Wagner

Terry Starbucker

Rodney Rumford

Ben Yoskovitz

Chris Cree

Robyn Tippins

Diego Orjuela

Vernon Lun

Wendy Piersall

The one phrase that came up repeatedly throughout the day was lifted from Steve Farber, who was present for the event:  "Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do."  If you're a blogger, you get it.  If you're in a job where you don't love what you do or with whom you are working, you don't know what you're missing.  Parallel universe or not, this was one incredible weekend.  I've been to A LOT of conferences over the past two decades... never one with this many hugs throughout, never one where people use the term love and family (and really mean it), never one where there were tears shed at the end as good-byes were said, and never one where genuine people put themselves on the line and do what they love in the service of those who love what they do.

Thank you to Chris and Lisa Cree, Liz Strauss, Terry Starbucker, Phil Gerbyshak, and Mike Sansone for making SOBCon07 a HUGE SUCCESS.  See you next year at SOBCon08.

Live Blogging From Day 2 at SOBCon07

Where else can a guy be sitting and listening to amazing speakers (and just downright amazing people) and be writing about it in real time?  The morning is going really well so far here at SOBCon07.  Here are some more photos... making some amazing memories here.

With Ann Michael

With Phil Gerbyshak

With Terry Starbucker

David Armano Presenting - a "blur" of great information about branding our blogs through Community, Content, Clarity and Consistent.

More great information coming from this afternoon's sessions.  The level of information being shared at this conference is beyond description.  Here's a shout-out to all the attendees:

• Sandra Renshaw
• Brad Shorr
• Timothy Johnson
• Tammy Lenski
• John Yedinak
• Joe Hauckes
• Tim Draayer
• Jeremy Geelan
• Carolyn Manning
• Sheila Scarborough
• Steve Farber
• Dawud Miracle
• Doug Mitchell
• Jeff O'Hara
• Dave Schoof
• Jamy Shiels
• Adam Steen
• Hannah Steen
• Chris Thilk
• Barry Zweibel
• Eric Bingen
• Ellen Moore
• Cord Silverstein
• Jean-Patrick Smith
• James Walton
• Sharan Tash
• Vernon Lun
• Tony Lee
• Paul Mangalik
• Scott Desgrosseilliers
• Mark Murrell
• Muhammed Saleem
• Kammie Kobyleski
• Easton Ellsworth
• Mark Goodyear
• Ann Michael
• Kent Blumberg
• Ashley Cecil
• Robert Hruzek
• Sabu N G
• Mazur Krystyna
• Lisa Gates
• Franke James
• Chris Brown
• Troy Worman
• Karen Putz
• Chelsea Vincent
• Jesse Petersen
• Terry Mapes
• Andy Brudtkuhl
• Premchand Kallan
• Lucia Mancuso
• Peter Flaschner
• Derrick Sorles
• Michael Snell
• Ella Wilson
• Mike Rohde
• Ayush Agarwal
• Thomas Clifford
• Rajesh Srivastava
• Claire Celsi
• Jason Alba
• Cristiana Passinato
• Sean R.
• Alex Shalman
• Lorelle VanFossen
• Cristiana Passinato
• Brad Spirrison
• James Bergstrom
• Raj Majumder
• Keith Levenson
• Ari Garber
• Dr. Rob Wolcott
• Cheryll Cruz
• Sharon Scherer
• Jonathan Phillips
• Todd And
• Jason Wade
• Jill Pullen
• Doug Bulleit
• Xochi Kaplan
• Wendy Kinney
• David Dalka

One Word: WOW!!!!

SOBCon07 (Successful and Outstanding Blogger Conference) is off and running in Chicago.  We're only a few hours into it, and already I have some wonderful souvenirs for my photo album.

With Steve Farber and Franke James

Watching Christine Kane perform

With Liz Strauss

With Lucia Mancuso

And there's still tomorrow left!!!  For those who think that blogging is only about on-line chats and distant faceless interactions, I gotta tell ya:  when these bloggers get together, things happen.  While many of us have been interacting online for months (or years), it was the first time for a face-to-face gathering for the majority.  The number of hugs I received from "perfect strangers" (OK, I'm half correct; they're not strangers any more) was truly a measure of how successful the relationships have formed.

Full Court Press

Bonnie Harris of The Des Moines Register wrote a great article about GUST - The "Tale" Wind of Office Politics.  Thanks for the kind words, Bonnnie.  You can read it here, or (if you're local) pick up a copy.

Most Far-Fetched Excuse

I'm starting a new periodic post series that I'm simply entitling MOST.  The purpose is to get you, the reader, to engage in blog conversation (but something fun and a little light-hearted).  I know I have hundreds of subscribers and visitors daily, so somebody is out there reading this blog.  It's your turn to talk.

For the inaugural MOST POST, I want to know what is the MOST FAR-FETCHED EXCUSE that you've ever heard somebody offer as a reason not to do something.

For me, it was a student many, many years ago (pre-Drake, even) who told me that his estranged wife had put a restraining order on him, and since they were both students at the same school, that was why he missed a third of the semester (of course, he tells me this right before returning to class after a four week absence instead of bringing it up the first week he was gone).

So let's hear yours:  what has been the most far-fetched excuse you've ever heard?

Flickr Photo by Denny2

There Are Some Who Call Me "Tim"

I've always taken issue with my name.  Tim Johnson.  There's only... what... a zillion of us on the planet?  No offense to my parents... they sort of came with the name "Johnson" so that wasn't really up for debate.  And the name "Tim" was a relatively commonly regularly-overused name back in the mid-sixties... why not?  Actually, as I've gotten older, I have found I prefer my given name, Timothy, over the shortened version, but still... not helping much in the distinguishing factor.

Let's review, shall we?  In the Tim/Timothy Johnson category, there are a Senator from South Dakota, a Congressman from Illinois, the Director of Antz and Over The Hedge (now I know why I liked that movie so much), the producer of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, the medical editor for Good Morning America, and the Correspondent for the Washington Bureau's Beijing Office.  A few of the lesser known in the all-inclusive club of Tim Johnsons are an associate music professor at Ithaca college, a linebacker (for either Baltimore or Oakland, but he's not showing up on either roster), the captain of the New Zealand Wheel Backs Wheelchair Rugby Team.  And let's not forget the rabid dog in To Kill a Mockingbird... his name was Tim Johnson also.

Growing up, there was a Tim Johnson a grade ahead of me who managed to get into more trouble than Imus at a Diversity conference.  During my undergrad years, there was a sociology professor, and we got each other's mail on a regular basis.  There's around two dozen of us in the Des Moines metro phone book, with whom I've been confused on the basis of credit ratings, arrests/legal issues, mail, and death (yes, I supposedly died a couple of months ago, prompting a plethora of ads for memorial stones to arrive at our house).

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!!  How does one develop a personal brand in a crowd this large?  (Minus, of course, the recently deceased one.)

Two things:

1. I blog.  This alone has catapulted me to the top page Google searches on both Tim Johnson and Timothy Johnson.
2. I am who I am.  Before I was hired on at Drake, I ran into Dr. Delaney Kirk (who was instrumental in my hiring).  She was my professor way back when, and we had not seen each other or talked in about six years.  When I commented my surprise that she remembered me among all the names and faces, she gave me that deadpan look for which she is famous and simply replied, "Tim, when somebody rides a skateboard into my classroom as part of their final presentation, I don't soon forget them."  I guess my personality creates its own unique brand...  (lest we forget the bunny suit)... enough said.

What about the rest of you?  Even those with less-than-common names... what are you doing to promote your personal brand?  Will people remember you in six years?  What about in six days?  Six minutes?  Just some thoughts to ponder on a Saturday night.

Practice Safe Sects

An acquaintance joined an online community a while back, hoping to accomplish some networking and build his relationships.  He followed all the rules of online etiquette, introducing himself, not being demanding up front, actively participating to get a foothold into the community.  Nothing.  He told me that after a few weeks, he's considering dropping his membership, as there is just too much of a clique going.

A former student took a job at a new company, and she was very eager to add value.  She volunteered for projects, attended meetings, and made herself available as a resource to various teams.  When her first review came around, she was surprised at the relatively low rating she received.  Evidently, she made herself too available, and her supervisor didn't like some of the teams and departments with whom she was associating.

In my last post, I raised the issue of guarding your alliances and ensuring you're wearing the right "team colors" at the right time.  Many of us go into a new employer or enter uncharted territory without assessing the social landscape first.  While I firmly believe that cliques are best left for junior high children who want to belong to something merely to feel better about themselves, I also recognize that some people never grow up.  Hence, "red rovering" yourself on over to the best alliances is a good skill to have.  As long as there are people in the workplace, there will always be silos, cliques, turf wars, and alliances.  As a new person coming into the workplace, how can you tell if you are siding with the right people?

It's simple:  ROAR.

No, no, no, I'm not suggesting you belt out a primal screech as a sort of professional mating call, gathering like-minded individuals to your side.  I'm suggesting that you assess your alliances that you make with the acronym ROAR:

Reciprocal - it only takes watching a couple of episodes of Survivor or The Apprentice to understand the basic premise of alliance-building:  both parties have to benefit.  If the allies you've chosen are only take-take-take, it may be time to choose other allies.  Drew McLellan is one of the most at-your-service guys I've ever met.  He's always there to give people a leg up, and he sets the bar very high for an example of the type of person I want on my team.

Open - a few months ago, I talked about organizations that put the CULT in culture.  If the communication and relationships are based on secrecy and "mutually assured destruction," it's a sure sign that the alliance will eventually implode.  For a good read on open communication, check out Jane Greer's blog.

Accomplishment-Oriented - My core value is still about accomplishment.  If the purpose of the alliance is anything other than to accomplish something great for the organization (i.e., just water-cooler gossip), then it is probably not the best alliance in which to participate.

Respectful - If your newly chosen allies talk down to people, if they are rude, if they are two-faced, or if they are not genuine, RUN.  Run, Forest, Run!!  The online community requires a level of trust.  I was very pleased to see Linda Kaplan Thaler (one of my new colleagues of Office-Politics.com) highlight efforts to promote a code of conduct for web interactions.

It's not too complex, but it's of a higher order than most junior high children can conceptualize (whether they are in a junior high school or wearing suits and invading our corporate offices).  So... next time you have to determine which sandbox is safest, just ROAR.

Flickr Illustration by Mario Zucco Illustration; Photo By Moon Fleet

Hoosier Daddy?

No, this isn't a story about Anna Nicole's baby or the paternity suit.

This is a story about association... and guilt thereby.

You see, my in-laws live in Bloomington, Indiana.  Yeah, you read that right.  I'm related to Hoosier fans.  Actually, my wife has lived in many of the Big Ten Conference states before settling in Iowa.  But now her parents live in Indiana.  Since we live in the Hawkeye state, it can make for some interesting discussions during football and basketball season.

There's an interesting by-product to having in-laws who are Hoosiers:  I own more Indiana University shirts and clothing than I do Iowa, Iowa State, and Drake combined.  And I have to tell you, it can be an interesting case study in social behavior to wear an Indiana shirt during a peak sporting season.  There's a lot of color commentary to be made... some sneers... and the obligatory derision that comes from siding with a non-Hawkeye team.  (Of course, Drake is still my preferred alliance.)

It is interesting how we sometimes find ourselves wearing the "wrong team colors" in the work place as well.  The typical office building architecture should just be thrown out the window in favor of work places that look like they act:  silos.  If you associate yourself with the wrong group, you could find yourself feeling like a lone Hawkeye watching them play the Hoosiers (where Indiana has the home court advantage).  Of course, if you try to act like the wolf in sheep's clothing and get caught, the consequences can be even worse.

As Juli Ann Reynolds pointed out a couple of months ago on Tom Peters blog site, a firm understanding of the corporate culture makes all the difference.  She says:

The most important asset in every company is the esprit de corps:  the motivation and passion of each employee... and... their willingness to collaborate together on whatever strategic projects are critical for growth.  At a time when 55% of the U.S. workforce is "actively disengaged" in their work at an annual productivity cost of $328 billion, understanding the esprit de corps element can greatly increase financial success (Gallup, 2005)

My questions to you are:  What do you think - is culture and alliance really all that important to accomplishment?  What have been the most visible turf wars you've observed by seeing someone wear the wrong team colors at the wrong time?

How do we deal with this issue?  Wait until my next post.

Photo from www.fansedge.com