After reading this Deron Snyder article about making snap racial judgments, I was reminded of my own mis-perception on a recent business trip. As my group pulled up to the hotel, we noticed a large African-American man and a very attractive Caucasian woman conversing at the back of the taxi. He was somewhat unkempt, and definitely dressed very casually. She looked like she had just stepped out of a salon, wearing a short, casual dress which complemented her figure. They appeared to be having a conversation about the future pick-up from the hotel for the trip back to the airport a few days in the future as he pulled suitcases out of the trunk. What happened next is what floored all of us: he took his suitcases into the hotel to check in, and she jumped in the driver's seat of the cab and took off. Everyone in my party completely misread the roles, whether by race, gender, or appearance (or all three), we automatically assumed he was the taxi driver and she was the customer.
If you've ever read Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (truly, one of my favorite books), you learn how your mind really works. It's an amazing computer, allowing us to generate snap decisions, often with great accuracy. Gladwell even covers the race/perception issue with alarming clarity. However, when you look at situations outlined in the article or even your own personal judgments as a systems thinking problem, it really brings things into clearer focus.
Whenever we look at ANY situation, what we see are not the only inputs reaching our brains. We are also seeing our own past experiences, our judgments, our values, our prejudices, our paradigms. Tom Vilsack saw what Fox News wanted him (and everyone else) to see. Based on that information, and his own set of perceptual filters available to him at the time, he reacted... incorrectly.
Next time you go people watching, try something: suspend judgment. Just try to see what is actually there. It's not as easy as it sounds. You're challenging your mental system by suppressing inputs which the brain naturally wants to process. Now... the next time you have to make a decision at your job, try the same thing. What are the facts, and what are the filters?
It's been interesting to read/hear the reactions from my friends about the ending of Toy Story 3. (Spoiler Alert) I mean, it's one thing for little kids to get upset at the end when Andy gives all his toys to Bonnie and then drives off into the sunset to go to college, but I've been surprised how many adults (including myself) have gotten a little choked up over the scene.
Having taught a few semesters of an MBA class in creativity, I have a theory about why the end of this flick is affecting adults... I think it forces us to relive our own lost childhood. We have to come to terms with the fact that we no longer allow ourselves to be kids, to play with toys, to explore our own imaginations (as opposed to video games which give us the story), to know what joy feels like with reckless abandon. We see Andy going off to college and leaving his toys behind, and we look at our mortgages and car payments and performance appraisals and bad bosses and every-day-spouse-and-kids... we begin to mourn a simpler time in our lives.
My creativity students are pushed into situations where they have to unlearn how to unlearn creativity... yes, you read that right. We're all born with creativity and in the course of time, we unlearn it. My job as a professor isn't to teach creativity; to believe I could do so would be both futile and arrogant. My job is simply to help them whack through all the perceptual filters which have prevented them from being creative... to help them find their box of toys again.
What do you think? Once we've gone past "infinity and beyond" is it possible to return?
Last month, I got to visit a friend and relative who's a county coroner. (Lesson learned: never eat BBQ with an engaging story-telling coroner.) I saw more than my fair share of dead bodies over the weekend, most of which were still intact. However, a coroner's job is take bodies apart so they can find out why they died. I saw one such body, dissected on the table like a 3D jigsaw puzzle. What was more disturbing than the scene was the smell. Dead, taken-part bodies stink. Regardless, it was a highly educational weekend in many ways.
To take something else apart, we in Iowa recently held our election primaries. As I predicted many months ago (in spite of the fact that our current governor has lost a lot of political capital from both parties), Bob Vander Plaats could have saved himself a lot of time and effort by not even entering the race. He lost soundly to 4-term-Governor-turned-candidate, Terry Branstad. Then he was shot down again at the convention when he tried to challenge the bid for Lieutenant Governor. But what has amazed me is the reaction of his followers. The social conservatives have spent so much energy over the past few months painting Branstad as a liberal-lover or a RINO (Republican In Name Only) because they claim he ignores their desires.
I recently debated this point with a far-right-conservative, and I tried to impress upon him that social issues were still important... just NOT AS important as economic issues at the moment. Once the party got the economy back on track, then other issues may come to the forefront. It's called PRIORITIES. No candidate can take on everything and do it successfully (just ask Obama). Suffice it to say, he didn't believe me. It was a very black-and-white mentality of all-or-nothing, my-way-or-the-highway with him. (To be fair, I see the same behavior in the far left too... that's why I only talk politics with logical moderates and independents... way more productive and far less annoying.)
But I didn't write this post to bash the political players. In seeking to seize the accomplishment, one must learn to prioritize. What task needs my attention today? What relationship should I focus on? Which project should I do first? What OUGHT you do first? then second? then third? What OUGHT your focus be? What OUGHT to be your priorities? When you learn to dissect what you OUGHT to do, then you get through things a lot faster.
To avoid prioritizing, whether in politics or in life or in business, means your accomplishment will die a questionable death, and somebody will end up dissecting it.
(Alternatively titled: "A Rolling Stone gathers no boss" OR "Flat Stanley travels to Washington")
General Stanley McChrystal learned a hard lesson about workplace behavior. No matter how incompetent you think your boss is, you don't vent your ill will to a public source. Recently, there was an article in the Des Moines Register about some locals who had lost their job because of Facebook. I've had situations before where clients thought I was writing about them in my blog. I assured them that while they may see themselves in the pages, I have a policy about not writing anything critical about an active client (besides, I have MANY past clients who provide me with ample fodder).
Sometimes, people think they are justified in bad-mouthing the boss. In this soft-economy era, there are more and more stories about employers who have abused the relationship with their employees. I know of one recently dismissed individual who could easily and justifiably go to the media to blow the whistle on his boss' inappropriate and unprofessional behavior, but he refuses... bad-mouthing the boss just comes back to haunt you.
Granted, I've broken this rule myself throughout my career. And I've paid for it. And I've learned from it. I'm fortunate now that I can be selective in my project choices, and I've learned to tell good client managers from bad client managers through the interview process.
So if you think YOUR boss is a complete schmoe, just remember what poor ol' Stanley is going through this week. Then watch yourself before you let your inside voice play outside.
One of the things I love about blogging is the ability, every once in a while, to stir up some engaging commentary from my readers. (It seems my Facebook posts do that quite frequently.) I generally like all blog comments, even from those who disagree with me, as long as they can disagree respectfully.
But recently, my blog has been receiving comments from the dregs of social media: spammers. Even if they seem like legitimate comments, I really don't want to hear from ViagraGal, WorkfromHome, StudyOnline, BestGamblingSite. Because of these low-life commenters, I've finally been forced to turn on comment moderation. GRRRR. These people want to fill my comment space with irrelevant advertising, so I'm now going to keep them out.
In systems thinking, we talk a lot about inputs, but how often do we discuss filtering out the unwanted inputs? How do we keep out the crap? In HR, they do screenings to prevent less-than-desirable hires from reaching the employment status. In project management, we maintain controls to prevent scope creep from adding to our work.
What about in your job? What are the undesirable work-turds filling your in-baskets? What are the safeguards you can use to keep them out?
(And for those who use your real name to comment on my blog with relevant commentary, please be patient with me as I get used to publishing your comments as they appear in my in-box).
So the pressures of cleaning up BP's disastrous oil spill is too much for him to handle.
So he goes to a prestigious yacht race to cheer on ol' Bob (the name of his yacht).
Big deal... who cares?
Um... well... it would appear... A LOT OF PEOPLE.
On office politics, appearances mean everything. Arms crossed. Disengaging in a meeting. Going to lunch with somebody. Leaving early. Arriving late. Laughing at a joke. People are paying attention to what you do. For some of you, you may not care what other people think. (For the most part, I'm right there with you.) But, like it or not, we do have to be concerned about perceptions. If they go unchecked, perceptions can become fact. And facts can ruin careers.
You don't have to be obsessing about others' opinions every minute of every day. All I'm saying is to watch out for the ammo you give their perception arsenal.
Been thinking about soul and passion a lot the past few weeks. I'm a big fan of being passionate... about at least a couple things anyway. On the longest day (i.e., most sunlight) of the year, it seems we have even more waking hours to be passionate... about something.
But are you letting the sun shine on your passion? Can people tell what really gets you excited? Me? Well, let's put it this way, I could never play poker. People tend to know exactly how I feel (positively or negatively). If I'm talking about my kids or my writing or working with the SWAT team, you can barely keep my feet on the ground. Life is too much of a guessing game as it is. Why not shed some light on what makes you tick? Many people, when they know this, are willing to help you out on your journey.
So as the sun sets on the "longest day" make it a point to share your passion with at least one other person. Who knows where it might lead? After all, if passion is silent, is it really all that passionate?
My computer has been on the blink for the past couple of weeks. Technical mumbo-jumbo. At first I thought it was malware. Then we thought the 2/3 of the RAM was kaputz. Finally we figured out it was a hard drive problem. Lenovo gave a startlingly fast turnaround time once the problem was diagnosed.
It's back in full working order now, and I'm very grateful for that. It's hard being away from someone you love. To be honest, blogging on another computer almost feels like cheating, so I've given myself a bit of a sabbatical. Instead of writing, I've been doing more "listening" in the blogosphere. No commenting... I just felt like lurking in the shadows of other people's thoughts. And it's been really intriguing.
I learned about Patti Digh's friend, Celeste, who passed away recently, and how cool of a woman she was and the legacy she left on a lifetime of friends.
There were some other blogs and posts and news stories I read on various sites whenever I could oust my wife or child from their computers, but I just wanted to share with you that some times it's OK to put down your own blog and take a little thought-romp in others' blogospheric back lots.
It's rumored that President Franklin D Roosevelt was a stickler on listening. It distressed him when he found people who chose not to listen, so during one state dinner (so urban legend has it), he greeted every guest with the phrase "I murdered my grandmother this morning." It both amused and dismayed the president that his comment was met with an endless sea of smiles and senseless gushing... until a foreign diplomat came along and responded, "I'm sure she had it coming, Mr. President."
Listening.
Paying attention.
Focus.
All are a critical part of accomplishment. We often let our perceptual filters take over, and when that happens we all get in trouble. Often, we listen attentively at the beginning of a relationship (or even a conversation), but then we JUST KNOW what's coming next and so we tune it out. When I was an undergrad at Central College, my ethics professor was dangerously close to retirement. I was carrying a solid A in the class and had already surmised that he was no longer even reading my assignments, so I decided to test the theory. When the case study arose about the infamous Ford Pinto and the exploding gas tanks (due to an inexpensive valve Ford decided to leave off), we were asked to use the utilitarian theory (greatest good for the greatest number) to argue whether Ford's decision to risk the lives of millions for economic gain was ethical. My response went something like this (keep in mind, I was a young, cocky know-it-all in my early 20's): "Ford was ethical for producing the Pinto without the valve, and it could be easily justified using the utilitarian point of view. If you think about the type of person most likely to drive a Ford Pinto, it is a benefit to society as a whole that they be most likely to die in a fiery crash." Soon thereafter, my paper came back with a solid 'A' and the professor feedback, "It's about time somebody took the Ford position and argued it well."
Sigh.
Are YOU listening? Are you hearing? Are you paying attention? Are you staying focused? Are you holding your perceptual filters in check? I love this scene from Sister Act. There are so many lessons on listening from this one little scene:
If you're like I am, and listening is a constant struggle to fight for focus among many competing inputs, you may need to follow Sister Mary Clarence's advice: "Alma! (stomp, stomp) Check your battery!"
Your "battery" may include your feelings about the speaker, your own health, what you're having for lunch, the usefulness of the conversation, perceptions about the topic, what you're going to say next, why the speaker is wrong... well, the list goes on. Whatever is preventing you from listening, check it at the door. Your conversations and your accomplishments will get a lot farther.
Looks like Age of Conversation 3 is out and released so Drew McLellan and Gavin Heaton can finally start breathing again. Remember, all the proceeds from this book go to charity, and you won't find a more useful collection of social media essays ANYWHERE (well, unless you include Age of Conversations 1 and 2). And by buying Age of Conversation 3, you'll find out the REAL reasons why I think social media ROCKS.
Speaking of books, my friend Jim Bouchard released his latest on Amazon. This is a guy who has it all together. It's hard to find that right combination of engaging, smart, and good looking (he sports the same "haircut" I do). If you want to learn how to apply the concepts of martial arts to step up your business game (and life in general) a few quantum leaps, then invest in Think Like a Blackbelt.
And finally, the perpetually beautiful (inside and out) Rosa Say wrote a wonderful piece reviewing SWAT - Seize the Accomplishment. What I truly love about Rosa is she is the consumate systems thinker... and she lives this stuff. To receive praise from her is high praise indeed. Mahalo, Rosa!
Finally, I'm a bit saddened to learn that Rita Mulcahy passed away recently following a battle with cancer. Those in the project management community know firsthand the legacy this pioneer left on our profession. She basically wrote the book (literally) on passing the PMP certification exam. I've been honored that her subsidiary, The Project Management Bookstore, carries all three of my titles (Race Through The Forest, GUST, and SWAT). Project management has lost a passionate beacon.
I think I'll curl up with a chapter of Walden tonight to finish up the week. Nothing like a little Thoreau to cap things off:
"A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting."
